The Secret Prince
by Mazzi4
Summary: After sharing a final night together, they go their separate ways. But there's one small thing she's forgotten to tell him about. His son - the secret heir to Camelot's throne
1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note; It has been so, so long since I've done this that I've practically forgotten how to. I'm putting this as a T, as it isn't strongly adult enough to go up to an 'M' in my view. First things first;**

**1) I am not an Arthur/Gwen shipper. End of.**

**2) I do not own Merlin, its characters or anyone. I own only the plot and my own characters.**

After sharing a final night together, they go their separate ways. But there's one small thing she's forgotten to tell him about. His son - the secret heir to Camelot's throne

* * *

It all started after the dragon left Camelot. Everyone was celebrating; there were bonfires being lit, people getting drunk after barrels of wine were rolled out and endless music streaming from the castle. Merlin had already staggered away, filled with a sense of pride and accomplishment, that even though Arthur had been given all the credit, he _knew_ they were all celebrating because of him. Everyone was having a good time, enjoying themselves for the first time in what seemed like forever.

She stood there in the same place she'd been when she first saw noticed him coming back - battered and bleeding - before throwing herself into his arms. The relief she felt had been so substantial she didn't feel she'd be able to convey it all in one action. She could remember the agony of waiting, perched on a stool and twisting a cloth between her hands, for hours. Waiting for any sign that something was happening, someone was returning. And now here he was, safe and sound, and it was the best she could do to not cry with relief.

The light from the nearby bonfires flicked against his face, dancing in his eyes, and she slowly lifted a hand to touch the developing bruise under his eye. At her touch he flinched and she automatically withdrew her hand until he gently pulled it back. For a moment they stood there, in silence, relishing in each other's presence. And then, she could no longer stand it.

Someway, somehow, she found herself in own home, tripping over her own wooden stool, him staggering behind her. He crushed her to him and she grabbed a handful of his chainmail, cursing it for not being an easy material to hold. Before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her and she - stupid fool - was kissing him back, hands lost in his thick hair. They staggered about the small room, bashing into various furniture, in an unrehearsed dance, but all she could think about was that this was the moment she'd been waiting for. It just wasn't going how she'd visualised. For a moment she was released as he pulled off any clothes he could and she took the moment to kick off her own shoes before grabbing him once more in a tight hold.  
Tripping over their own discarded clothes, they fell heavily onto the bed and she realised for the first time how heavy chainmail really was. With his hands in her hair and his voice muttering sweet nothings into her ear, she held him close as if he were liable to drift away as easily as the night. As she lay there, feeling his breath fall hot and heavy onto her neck, she noticed the developing hole in the roof and wondered just how long it had been there before he found her mouth again and the roof was forgotten. And then finally, finally, the moment she'd dreamt of for so long. With her hands entwined around his neck, head thrown back, they finally came together and it was this moment - this specific moment - that she realised this was the beginning of the end.

* * *

With a groan, Prince Arthur let his head fall, thudding against his own chainmail covered arms.

"Why, Father? I'm perfectly fine as I am!"

"Because." King Uther started, raising one hand from the table to make his point. "You are the crown prince, meaning you will be king. And as king, you need heirs. For heirs, you need a wife. It's as simple as that."

"Yes, but why _now_?" Arthur protested, glancing up. "And why can't _I_ choose my own wife?"

"You can." Uther said, tapping his finger against the arm of his throne. "But from a selection of my choice. Arthur, you're 21 - the sooner you're married and producing heirs, the better it is for Camelot. Look how many times your life has been threatened. You're going to need to have a good few sons to keep the throne safe and without a wife, you'll get nowhere. Better to start while you're younger."

"Yes, fair enough, but can't I at least pick who she is? A lady of Camelot would be a good idea, one of our own..." He said wistfully, thinking of a girl who was no doubt collecting water somewhere in the castle.

"Absolutely not." Uther said, snapping Arthur out of his imagination. "It is in the best interests of Camelot that you marry a neighbouring princess. That way we can secure two kingdoms together and create an alliance. I hear King Stefan has a beautiful daughter. Princess Bella. Infact, I have invited them to Camelot."

"You've WHAT? Father!" Arthur cried, shooting up in his seat. Uther frowned but Arthur stayed straight, a horrified look plastered to his face.

"In a week. I fully expect you to receive them and, for goodness' sake Arthur, consider Bella. She has many suitors for her hand and I hear she is a most delightful young lady. We will speak no more of this." Uther said and with a wave of his hand, the guards opened the doors. Arthur didn't need a dismissal. He was out of his seat and striding off before Uther had finished his sentence.

* * *

It had been four months. Four months, two weeks and half a day and Gwen could still remember it as vividly as yesterday. And yet...to remember also hurt her. For since that night, Arthur had not looked her in the eye once. She'd tried to tell herself it was because he was dying over not being able to be with her too but secretly, she felt it was because he was ashamed. Maybe it was easier for him just to forget it even happened.

For Gwen, this was not even possible.

She'd figured it out after two months and now she was positive of it. She had told no one - had no intention of telling anyone - and had no idea what she was going to do when it became obvious. In her heart of hearts, she knew it would be the right thing to tell Arthur. But what good would that do other than open up a a new can of worms for him? As she arranged another vase of flowers in the absent Morgana's room, she sighed sadly. Out the window, she could see Arthur. He was striding across the courtyard in the direction of Merlin and - to be frank - he looked furious. She watched as he grabbed Merlin from his work and tell him whatever it was that had happened before turning away. Watching him go so easily about his life only made hers harder.

Not as hard as what he'd left her with though


	2. An Awkward Revelation

**Author's Note: Can I just say a quick but big thank to everyone who took the time to read and review the first chapter. It always means a lot to receive feedback on work and I'm extremely grateful to those who did. I love you a LOT. =]**

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Merlin. Believe you me, if I did, there'd be a heck of a lot more topless Arthur scenes. That honour goes to the BBC, not I. I own only this plot and my own characters.**

She was going to tell him. This much she had decided. As she sat in the quiet, empty rooms of the King's absent ward, she finally realised what she knew all along. She _wanted_ him to know. A small part of her hoped that, if he knew the truth, maybe he'd declare their love and make their relationship public. Athough as she stabbed the needle through again - one of Morgana's old dresses that she'd meant to fix ages ago and completely forgot - she knew this was very unlikely.  
It had been a week since she'd last contemplated telling Arthur and even now, Gwen came back to the same problem; He has a right to know. In all fairness, she didn't even look like she was having a baby. She could probably get away with not telling him for months. But would it be easier to tell him earlier? So he'd have more time to get his head round it?

This was the problem she kept coming back to. She'd have to tell him, but when? When _is _the best time to hear you're going to be a father to a child conceived with a woman you cannot marry? With a groan she dragged her hands down her face and shook her mind of all thoughts of it. Hopefully something would happen, something that would make up her mind for her. Arthur appearing and declaring his undying love would be the ideal thing, but as she'd accepted a long time - this was very unlikely.

* * *

"And the most STUPID part of it all is that he actually wants me to dance with her. A complete stranger! In front of all those people! In front of-..." He cut off, the expression falling from his face and Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"Sire?" Merlin waved a hand in front of Arthur's face and rolled his eyes. "Look, I know Gwen's gonna be there and yes, she's gonna see. But it's just a dance, yeah? You can tell her that. Means nothing, just a dance." Arthur glanced at Merlin, a look on his face which made him seem very young. Merlin mirrored the expression which seemed to shock Arthur back into his rant.

"And so he seems to think that this will make me fall in love with her! The arrogance of it all! With any luck, she'll have her eye on some other prince and will be as relucant as I! Then maybe Father'll stop trying to force me into various engagements with people I don't even know!"

"Yeah, maybe..." Merlin said, scrubbing the cloth over one of Arthur's boots. "Or maybe, you'll catch one glance of her and fall over head over heels for her anyway". Arthur stopped and glanced down at Merlin.

"Do not even jest about that. She means nothing, she's just some princess is all. That's all. Nothing more." He said as he started to pace. Merlin looked up from his boot scrubbing and frowned.

"So...why are you pacing like you're terrified of her?"

"I am NOT terrified of her. I'd just rather the whole thing wasn't even happening! And then when I tell Father I don't want to marry her, he starts off on some 'duty to Camelot' marlarky which makes me feel guilty." He sighed, stopping by the window. "It's all a mess, Merlin. All a grand, royal mess." And Merlin, no stranger to awkward, difficult situations, nodded.

* * *

By the evening, she was decided. She was telling him - tonight. Something was happening in Camelot, some distant king had arrived for dinner, but this wasn't going to put her off. She dusted down her purple dress and checked her hair in the mirror before she left. Even knowing Arthur as long as she had didn't make her want to look like a scruffy servant in his presence.

Everyone was on the move, gathering in their best dress into the Great Hall. Gwen found Merlin lurking in a corridor and almost ran into him in her rush to find Arthur.

"Merlin!"

"Gwen!"

"Merlin, where is Arthur? I need to speak to him, now."

"He's just finishing getting ready. Although what he's getting ready I do not know, seeing as I helped him dress. Probably admiring himself in the mirror or checking I've polished his boots properly..." Merlin muttered before grinning at Gwen. He frowned when he noticed her harrassed expression. "Gwen, is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes, fine. I just need to see Arthur before he goes down and greets whoever it is."

"King Stefan."

"King Steven, yes."

"Stefan, Gwen, Stefan."

"Yes, whatever Merlin".

Suddenly the door opened and Arthur stepped out - ceremony crown on and everything - and Gwen found herself taking in a breath. This was the closest she'd been to him since that night and she'd almost forgotten how attractive he was up close.

"Guinevere" He said, frowning slightly. "Is there a...?" He trailed off, thinking of no reason why she should be here. He started in the direction of the Great Hall, Merlin following a few paces behind. Gwen hurried along to keep in step with him.

"Arthur, I really need to speak to you, it's really impor-..."

"Guinevere, this isn't really the best time, I've got-..."

"Arthur, please, I need to talk to you, just 5 minutes..."

"I haven't got 5 minutes, Gwen, I just haven't, I-..." He stopped, wondering if he was being too harsh on her, if he was taking his nerves out on her. "Gwen...look, we can talk...just not now, this is very important, Father will kill me if I'm late, we've got a visiting king, guests..." He trailed off, stopping outside the doors to the Great Hall and looked down at her.

"Arthur, I..."

"Later, Gwen..." He smiled sadly at her and for a moment, the memory of that night crossed between the two of them. He shook it from his head and gently touched her shoulder. "Stay with Merlin, I really have to go". And with that, he was gone and Gwen was left outside the Great Hall, Merlin only a few feet behind.

"Come on." He said, touching her arm but she shook her head and headed in the other direction. As she walked away, the thoughts in her head swirled faster and faster. Arthur was right, this was a bad time to talk, but did he have to be so short with her? Didn't she mean anything to him? No, she did, she had to, he'd said they could talk, but...She rounded a corner and heard applause from the Great Hall, laughter. This was stupid. There was nothing wrong, nothing at all. He said they'd talk and the best she could do for now was to go into the Great Hall and have a good time like everyone else. Yes, that's what she'd do. And with a smile, Gwen turned on her heel and headed back the way she came.

* * *

If Arthur has ever felt any pressure before, it was nothing like what he was feeling now. All eyes were on him as he approached Princess Bella's chair and offered his hand to her. Slowly she raised her head and - sweet mercy, she wasn't meant to be that beautiful - gently took his hand. Over her head he could see his father's smile of approval and that of King Stefan next to him. The courtiers of Camelot all smiled too, eager for their prince to find an ideal queen, and he lead her to the centre of the floor. To his slight shock, the princess was beautiful. With her wavy blonde hair and massive brown eyes, she was as everyone had said - a complete stunner - and he was finding it hard to look away from her.

Holding her tiny hand carefully in his own, he put his hand on her waist and found hers on his shoulder. They slowly started to move and before long, Arthur found himself stepping into this dance as easily as if it were natural. Occasionally she glanced up at him, with a look as nervous as his own, as he felt something inside swoop. But then he remember Gwen, her own panicked look as he'd left her, and a wave of guilt would wash over him. Glancing over Bella's shoulder, he spotted his father and King Stefan in an animated whispered conversation, both grinning. He saw Merlin, smiling nervously beside Gaius. He saw face after face of various Camelot residents, all happy for him. And then he saw her. Standing in the shadows, her purple servant's dress standing out amongst the rich fabrics of everyone else. The look on her face made him feel even worse and he tried to send her a message with his eyes, but she wasn't looking at him. She was looking directly at Bella.

After what seemed like forever, the dance ended and Arthur found himself wanting to rush over to Gwen and convince her it was not what it seemed. But Bella was smiling at him and holding his hand, reaching up to kiss his cheek. Through not fault of his own, he felt himself blush and knew that everyone in the room had noticed it too. Including Gwen, who seemed rooted to the spot. Someone, probably his father, started applauding and before long, the entire room was echoing with the sound of Camelot's response. Still standing in the middle of the floor, he felt himself turn as Uther stood and silence fell.

"It gives me a great sense of pride to announce to you, the people of Camelot and our dear guests, the betrothal of our Crown Prince Arthur and Mesaline's Princess Bella. I hope you will join with me in congratulating them on this momentus occasion and raise your glasses in a toast. To Prince Arthur and Princess Bella!"

"Arthur and Bella!"

"Arthur and Bella!"

Over and over he heard, the phrase becoming engraved into his mind forever. He felt Bella's hand hold on tightly to his own, her beautiful face smile up at him, and it took great strength to smile back at her. The words were chanted again and again, reminding him of what he'd just been signed up for, but the only thing he heard - above the joyous shouts and congratulations - was the small whimper of pain and muffled shutting of a door as Gwen rushed out.


	3. Broken

**Author's Note: Thank you again to all those who read/reviewed/subscribed. It means a great deal to hear your responses and I appreciate all reviews left, thank you. I can pretty much guarantee that this story will be updated regularly - as I submit them, I've just finished work on chapter 6, so there you go xD**

**Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine. As much as I'd like it to be, it is not. The BBC still owns it and I only own this.**

Oh heck. Now he was in trouble. Maybe it would have been a better idea to forewarn her? As he stood completely still, the princess at his side and his future father-in-law approaching to shake his hand, all Arthur could think about was how he was going to get himself back in Gwen's good books. If that was even possible.

"I cannot tell you how happy this makes me." Arthur turned, only to find his hand being shook vigoriously and King Stefan beaming from ear to ear. "For the past few months, we have met many princes asking for my daughter's hand but you sir...You are by far the best we've encountered." The old king grinned at his daughter and Bella simpered back.

"Oh, well, I uhm...thank you, Sire, thank you, uhm...I, eh...your daughter is very beautiful." He finally choked out and felt Bella's hand squeeze his own. King Stefan clapped him on the shoulder and laughed.

"The pair of you make a beautiful royal couple. It makes me so, so happy to see my only daughter with such an ideal prince." Swinging his arm around so the goblet nearly crashed into Arthur's ear, King Stefan headed back to the high table. Feeling a small tug on his hand, Arthur glanced down at Bella. She was glancing at the table too and Arthur realised that they were just standing in the middle of the floor, everyone looking at them. Clearing his throat he threaded his fingers through Bella's and made his way back to the table. Sat on his father's left with Bella next to him, Arthur fingered the silver plate in front of him and groaned inwardly as the first course came out.

* * *

As he watched Arthur sit at the high table, poking his fork miserably into whatever meat was in front of him, Merlin knew it was up to him to talk to Gwen. Arthur couldn't be more trapped if he tried. With two kings on one side of him and a new fiancee on the other, there was no way he could sneak out and find his servant lover without some suspicions arising.

While everyone started on their first courses and refilled their goblets, Merlin snuck out a side door. As he'd expected, no one even glanced at him and he headed out into the night. There was a full moon tonight, glowing down from a black sky, and the courtyard was empty. He tried to think where Gwen would go but his mind went blank. Slowly he wandered about the courtyard, pacing the old cobbles, until he heard a muffled sob. Instantly he stopped and listened harder. For a few moments he stood, in silence, waiting for something to give. When nothing happened, he headed in the direction he'd heard it come from and leaned against one of their pillars which went round the perimeter of the courtyard.

"H-How could he, Merlin...?" Came a small, shaky voice from the darkness and Merlin swung round to see Gwen standing in a corner. She was shaking although Merlin was fairly confident that this wasn't from the cold. Slowly, he took a step towards her and, when she didn't back away, took another.

"It wasn't his choice, Gwen...Honest, Uther had decided a week ago that he wanted Arthur married and today...well, he's decided who as well."

"Her! That blonde little...perfect...princess..." Her voice, once full of anger, melted away to a sad whisper and Merlin felt the need to hold her very tight as if she were prone to breaking. He couldn't deny it - Bella did seem perfect. She had the perfect hair, face, figure, even status. She had everything going for her and now the one thing Gwen wanted most as well.

"He doesn't love her though." Merlin said, grabbing onto the one good thread he could find. "I've never seen him look more uncomfortable. Well, maybe when he had to dine with Queen Catrina, that really made him look queasy..." He grinned to himself but Gwen didn't smile.

"Oh...that won't take long." She signed and picked a loose thread on her dress. "I just always thought...no, never mind..."

"What, Gwen?" Merlin said, frowning a little. "What is it?" He took her hands to encourage her and saw her bite her lip to compose herself.

"It's just...I always assumed that when he became king, he'd be able to marry whoever who wanted and that he...I...I just didn't think he'd get married before becoming king." And with that she finally lost her composure, covering her face with her hands. Merlin pulled her to him and hugged her close, feeling her small frame shake with every sob. He had absolutely no words he could use to comfort and hoped, as he'd always hoped, that actions would speak louder than words.

* * *

It seemed to go on for hours and when Arthur finally escaped the Great Hall, the need to go to sleep was so great, he almost forgot the one thing which had been tormenting him the entire time. The air was cold and crisp outside, bitterly sniping at any exposured area it could, and Arthur found himself walking with his head bowed and arms wrapped around himself. As he walked around the courtyard, he caught a glimpse of something in a corner. Moving closer he spotted Merlin, sitting on the floor with his arm around Gwen. Something inside seemed to snap and Arthur felt himself catching his breath as he approached, the crown on his head slipping slightly as he walked. Merlin glanced up as Arthur came to stand before him but said nothing.

As if she could detect his presense, Gwen's eyes flew open and fixed first on his crown and then on him. He could feel her pain as easily as if it were his own and reached out to her - only to recoil when she burrowed herself more into Merlin. Merlin shifted, looking a tad uncomfortable to be caught in this moment, but neither excused him.

"Guinevere..." He started, pushing the crown back onto his head but at her glare, he stopped.

"Don't Arthur. Just don't."

"Gwen, I couldn't help...Father, he..."

"I don't want to hear, Arthur, I just don't." She said, pulling herself to her feet and striding out into the courtyard. In a flash he was right behind her.

"Will you just let me explain...I didn't want this to happen, it wasn't my idea, Father..."

"You can't blame this all on Uther, Arthur, you're a big boy now." She walked faster, her dress catching around her legs. Arthur, both taller than her and in easier clothes, followed.

"This wasn't my decision, I didn't even get a say! Nor did Bella, we-..." At the mention of the princess's name, Gwen stopped and swung around. Pacing to keep up with her, Arthur almost went straight into the back of her and stumbled to keep his footing. He stared at her, noting the trail of tears on her cheeks and the angry look which was penetrating right into him. After a moment or two, he realised it wasn't even silent. They were standing next to an old fountain which had stood there longer than Arthur could remember. The nearby lanterns flicked a shadow onto Gwen's face and he couldn't work whether she was crying or just glaring. Realising that using the name of his fiancee hadn't helped, he took a different track and sighed.

"It was you who always told me...that we could never be together, Gwen." He said sadly, glancing at her through worried eyes. Her stony expression remained.

"Look, Arthur." She said and he frowned, confused. "Look." She said again, pointing at the fountain, and this time he looked. "What do you see?"

"Me...you...sky...?" He answered, like a boy afraid of getting the question wrong.

"No." She answered firmly and he blinked. "What you see is this... You see a prince, a crown prince, decked in the finest fabrics royalty can buy. You see a serving girl, with hands as dry as a carpenter's and a dress still covered in a layer of dust. This." She said, pointing at the reflection. "This is why we cannot be together."

"Gwen, who I am doesn't matter, it's just a...-" He started, pulling his crown off and looking startled when she laughed.

"You can't remove your title, Arthur, you can't discard who you are. No more than I can get rid of who I am."

"Guinevere, please...I don't want to hurt you, I just..."

"No." She said, shaking her head and he stopped. "No more. Please just leave me be." She turned to go.

"No, but, Gwen, I..."

"_No_" She said forcefully and started to run, her dress catching the light of every lantern she ran past.

"But..." Arthur started and felt his shoulders fall as he watched her disappear into the night. With a sigh, he replaced the crown onto his head and glanced down at the reflection. He saw his own status shine back at him, the crown glinting in the moonlight, the jewelled handle of the sword at his side - a gift from King Stefan, the rich red of the cape swung around his shoulders. And with one swipe, his hand connected with the water, shattering the image - another to be added to the list of visualisations that had already been broken.


	4. Plans

**Author's Note: Thank you again for the reviews and alerts, I have read them all and taken them into account.**

**To Anon: Reasons behind Gwen's behaviour =] In chapter 2, she had no idea that Arthur was going to be betrothed. None whatsoever until the very end. So to go with her own shocking revelation, she suddenly has his to deal with too and so it just got too much for her. In chapter 2, she accepted it with more dignity cause she wouldn't humiliate him in front of everyone. But by chapter 3, they're on their own and she's pretty mad at him doing this after the situation he's got her in. And, as you say, she was pretty hormonal in that chapter - it's the only time she gets angry xD Hope that clears things up, just wanted to explain =]**

**Disclaimer; I own noooothing!!! Just this plot and my characters. Rest is the BBC.**

It had been about three months since the announcement of the betrothal and Gwen had not seen Arthur since. No, that was a lie. There had been several times when she'd seen him riding out with Merlin in tow or training on the banks behind the castle. But she hadn't spoken to him since that night and, in all honesty, didn't particularly want to.

By the grace of Mother Nature, or whichever high power was looking out for her, she wasn't particularly showing much which she considered a small miracle. The amount of people she saw every day - one of them would bound to notice the difference and before long, the word would reach Arthur's ears. Before she wanted him to know but now...Well, if it would have made life difficult before, it would make it downright impossible for him now. To her it was in his overall best interests not to know. Not to mention she was still feeling a bit spiteful after the betrothal revelation.

But, in all honesty, this was hard work. She had gotten off light with the sickness which accompanied the early stages. Gwen could count on one hand how often she'd been sick but found she became tired far more easier now. Although she missed Morgana dearly, it helped not having to work 16 odd hours a day, which she knew would thoroughly exhaust her.

The seasons were changing, the winter slowly dying away. The cold weather had given her a good excuse to huddle up in many layers and she hoped it'd last a good few months longer. As she looked wistfully out of the window, she spotted Merlin making his way down with an armful of books which she guessed were Gaius'. She'd seen Merlin around more than she had Arthur but, again, hadn't spoken to him. She was a bit wary to really - didn't know what Arthur had told him, if anything.

He looked up, spotted her in the window and waved. Startled at being noticed, Gwen hastily waved back before disappearing back into the gloom of her small house. She looked at the blanket she'd been sewing for a dear old lady who lived about three doors down from her and sighed. Although working from home kept her discreet and out of the way, she missed the excitement and activity of the castle. It was fair to say, that place was never boring.

* * *

_With the sun beating down on her curled raven hair and her hands, small and delicate like a girl's but covered in dust, gripping a vase, she looked every inch the ideal woman. Her hair wasn't tamed, her face had smatterings of dust and dirt from previous work and her dress looked like it had spent most of its life pressed against a floor. But all she had to do was smile and she looked every inch a princess. Who needs titles, jewels or fine clothes to be magnificent when the best things in life are those which are generally overlooked?_

"Arthur. _Arthur." _Dragged from his own memories, Arthur blinked up at his father. The king was standing over him, hands on hips, a look of frustration on his face. He sighed and made his way back to his own chair on the other end of the table.

"I was saying, Arthur...Stefan and I have been talking and we're thinking in two weeks. That way we'll have enough time to sort things out but not too long or people'll think we're never going to do it. Seems fair enough, don't you agree?"

"Uhm, yes, the...uhm...wait, what?"

"Geeee, you're away with the fairies today..." Uther muttered before looking up. "The wedding. Yours, to be specific. Two weeks. We have a grand ceremony to be held and a feast to follow it. Not to mention the fires which will be lit all around Camelot to celebrate." He sighed and looked carefully at his son. "This is going to be _your_ day...show some enthusiasm, lad."

Arthur looked up and raised half a smile, which was enough to satisfy Uther.

"Bella and Stefan are going to be staying for the remaining two weeks. After which Stefan will return to Messaline and Bella will move here as your wife and the future queen. Of course, Stefan will be received regularly as a guest and our court will in turn visit him. These are exciting times, Arthur!"

"I know, but...don't you think we're rushing? Shouldn't we give more time for the people to...adjust to a new princess?"

"They'll be fine, Arthur, fine! Everyone's happy for you, they're excited about the prospect of a new princess! Anyway now come, come, we have an annoucement to make." Uther said, jumping up from his chair and clapping Arthur on the shoulder on the way past. With a silent groan, Arthur stood up and followed.

* * *

Everywhere she looked, they were there. They were the sneaky teenage couple, creeping into an old barn. They were the old mother, wishing her son well at training. They were the elderly ladies, working on a large quilt between them. Gwen mistook everyone for the two people she really did not want to see. But as she stood by the well, bucket ready to collect water, Uther's voice echoed over the courtyard and there was no denying which couple stood next to him.

He didn't look well. That was what she primarily noticed. Before taking into account the blonde girl next to him, her arm through his, her deep blue gown making her stand out like the rose she believed herself to be. She whispered something into his ear and he leant towards to hear and even that simple gesture make Gwen want to scream. Together they looked so darn perfect she sometimes wondered why she even objected. They were clearly made for each other.

The life inside her - ever present - told her different.

Uther's words seemed to morph together - she couldn't really make head or tail of them anyway. She was transfixed on Arthur, stood at the top of the castle with that woman - Gwen couldn't bear to say her name - when it should have been her. Rightfully. What hurt her most was knowing that this woman was going to be the one who would live Gwen's life. It would be her sitting on the throne next to Arthur. Her crowned Queen to match his King. Her producing the future Pendragon heirs. Her being known as the beautiful Queen of Camelot when in her deepest of hearts, Gwen knew it should be her. And he did too.

She stood, holding the bucket tight to her front, watching every movement they made. And then Bella turned and said something to Arthur and before Gwen could turn away, he was kissing her. She did the only thing she knew to do when these scenes cropped up - they were becoming uncomfortably frequent - and she turned and ran. It was only when she flew into her home and slammed the door shut behind her that she realised she'd completely forgotten her entire purpose for going out; the bucket was still empty.

* * *

The banners were up, the food was waiting to be prepared, the wine restocked, the clothes brought in, the bonfires made...everything was ready. And everyone involved was ready too. Bella moved around the castle as if she had wings on her feet, immediately making everyone else feel happy too. King Stefan and Uther were spending a remarkable amount of time together, discussing everything from wars to wives to future grandchildren. Even Merlin was ready - he'd washed his best scarf in preparation and even found time to shine his own boots which made him cheery. The only person not happy - and mostly unprepared - was Arthur himself.

"Just incase it's passed you by, Sire..." Merlin started, polishing Arthur's new sword. "Your wedding is in fact tomorrow." Arthur glanced up from where he was sitting at the table, poking his lunch around his plate with a fork.

"You know, Merlin, these past two weeks have been so dead quiet, I'd have completely forgotten if you hadn't reminded me. I mean, the way everyone's acting, you'd think they've forgotten as well." He rolled at his eyes and continued stabbing a sausage.

"Is that sausage meant to be Uther or Bella? Although, in all fairness, it could very well..."

"Merlin!"

"What, I'm only trying to work out the reason behind your massacring your dinner..." Merlin said, rubbing the cloth down the sword. He placed both items down on the table and leant against the back of another chair. "I don't suppose you're nervous...?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Arthur muttered back, severing the sausage in half. Merlin, seeing the opportunity, seized one half of the sausage and shoved it in his mouth.

"MERLIN!"

"Oh, what, you noticed? I'd hope you'd be too busy worrying about tomorrow or fretting over Gwen to notice tortured sausages making a bid for freedom."

"Being pinched, more like. I'm not "so busy worrying" I can't spot what's happening under my nose, you know." Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" He asked, casting a doubtful look at Arthur.

"Positive." Arthur replied, chewing on the last piece of sausage before Merlin helped himself to that too.

"So you've not seen Gwen lately?"

"No..." Arthur said, grabbing his goblet and taking a sip. "I've been keeping my distance since...Well, since."

"Maybe you should pay a visit, you know." Merlin said thoughtfully, quickly wiping away an area of dust from the fireplace before Arthur noticed.

"What, just stroll on down there and knock on the door? Yeah, and face intense questioning from Stefan when I get back after someone reports me? What do you take me for, Merlin, a complete twit?" Arthur rolled his eyes and pushed the plate away, suddenly not hungry.

"I just really think it might be a good idea, is all. You know, before..." Merlin said, glancing down at the leftovers to see if there was anything else that took his fancy. At the suggested mention of his wedding once more, Arthur groaned and buried his head in his arms. Watching his master carefully, Merlin swiped the last bread roll and chewed thoughtfully. He'd seen Gwen these past few weeks and had spotted her at the announcement two weeks ago. Not that she looked like she was listening - more in a world of her own to be honest. But there was something different about her which he had spotted unbeknown to her. Putting their behaviour and Gwen's current situation together, it hadn't taken Merlin long to figure out what had happened some months past. And what was happened to Gwen right now. He knew full well it wasn't his place to say anything. But there was no rule saying he couldn't lead Arthur right up to it.

"Alright!" Arthur said, sitting back upright again. "I'll go, say a quick hello-how-are-you and-...Merlin?"

"Mhmm?"

"Is that my roll you're eating?"

"Mmm...no?"

"_MERLIN!"_

**Author's Note: **Apologies for the 'inbetweeny' ness of this chapter, it leads to bigger things in the next.


	5. The Start of Something New

**Author's Note: This chapter does see the re-enter of Bella but do not let appearances fool you. That is all I have to say. Thank you to those who've been keeping up with this.**

**Please forgive my lack of knowledge of how medieval weddings go.**

**Apologies for the repetition later on in this chapter - it is to signify Arthur's thoughts during various important events and not just me getting carried away with 'crtl v' xD**

**Also, apologies for the length, I had a lot I wanted to add.**

There was a definite buzz in the air that night as Gwen folded the linen sheets into a pile on her table. The air outside was bitter but that hadn't stopped the people bustling about well into the evening. The noise from the alehouses seemed to have doubled and everyone seemed happy. Everyone except Gwen herself, of course.

Her cousin from the south, a rather strapping young man who turned heads wherever he went, had come down to visit her and Gwen had been trying not to scream about it all day. As lovely as her cousin was, he had terrible bad timing. All day long he'd been chatting to her about this and that and other things Gwen didn't care when all she'd wanted was to be alone. Of course, he hadn't taken him long to realise about the baby. During a panicky moment she'd spun a story about getting involved with one of the local lads and getting into trouble and Robert had immediately threatened to go and give him what for. She'd managed to reassure him over and over that the man was out of town now and there was no need to get worked up but she still sensed that Robert really wasn't happy with it.

He was out now - gone to check on his horse in the nearby stables. She'd rolled her eyes when he told her, such a typical man. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and she looked up startled. Robert wouldn't knock, he'd been to-ing and fro-ing all day. Reassuring herself, it was probably the dear old lady two doors down. Gwen had promised to go round and help her clean out today but had accidentally forgot. Rapidly conceiving various excuses out of nowhere, she got up and opened the door.

"Oh." She said as she pushed the door open and Arthur stood there. She quickly wrapped her arms around herself, pretending to feel the cold. "Sire."

"Guinevere, please don't get formal with me... We've been on first name terms for months now." He said, scratching behind his ear awkwardly. Every so often he'd check over his shoulder and Gwen knew he was worried he'd spotted. Torn between slamming the door in his face and dragging in him, she sighed.

"Can I come in?" He finally said and she relucantly stepped aside. Closing the door behind him, she positioned herself behind the table. Arthur stood for a moment, looking around the small dark room, one candle flickering in the window. He silently sighed, remembering the last time he was here.

"Are you all ready then?" She finally asked, tilting her head a little. He looked up as if he'd been slapped.

"Gwen, please don't..."

"I hear it's a fine affair, jewels galore and everything." She smiled widely but he can see the strain behind it.

"I didn't come to talk about that, I wanted to see how you were..."

"I'm fine. Really, Arthur, I'm fine. Is all well up in the castle? Are Morgana's rooms just? I hoped they wouldn't assign them away even though she's not here..."

"Morgana's rooms are just as you left them." He said impatiently, holding onto the back of a chair. "Look, why don't you come back? Work with Gaius, or even Merlin...The place isn't the same..."

"What, come back as her Highness' servant? I'm sorry, Arthur, I quit that job when my mistress vanished."

"I didn't mean..." He sighed and looked her directly in the eye. "Gwen, what do I have to do to make you forgive me?"

_'Make it go away.'_ She thought to herself.

"There isn't anything you can do, Arthur. What is done is done. We have to live with the consequences." _Some of us more than others._

"But..." Arthur started sadly, bowing his head. "I don't know if I can..." Looking up at her, he watched her give a little shrug. "No, Gwen, please..." He said, striding around the table and grasping her arms.

"Arthur, please, don't-..." Gwen began, then stopped. She looked up at his face and following his trail of sight. Looking directly at what they had created.

"Oh." Immediately he stepped back, releasing her. Gwen began to step behind a chair once more but realised there was no point now. The expression on his face changed, from a frustrated prince to a hurt, lost boy. Gwen shut her eyes, not able to bear watching him realise so painfully.

"Gwen, why didn't you t-..."

"So sorry I took longer, Guinevere, some of the men started a drunken dance outside the alehouse and you can guess who they grabbed onto." Robert marched into the room, laughing, bringing with him the scent of horses and alcohol. When he noticed Gwen and Arthur, he stopped. Shutting her eyes once more, Gwen offered up a silent prayer to whoever was listening.

"Gwen...who is this?" Unsure of who spoke, she looked at them both. Both men had risen to their full height and were glaring at each other. Taking a breath, she finally spoke.

"Robert...this is Prince Arthur. We're friends through his manservant, Merlin..." _Well, it's half true,_ she thought. Turning to Arthur she took an even deeper breath, wondering if she was about to make what was the biggest mistake of her life.

"Arthur, this is Robert, my...." She trailed off, unable to think of an answer and lifted her head just in time to watch Arthur's face fall, his eyes shadow with heartbreak and betrayal. Silently she cursed herself, knowing exactly what Arthur was thinking. She looked over her shoulder at Robert for help before shutting her eyes as Robert cemented the idea which she had created.

"Nice to meet you, Sire, how kind of you to stay with my Guinevere whilst I was out." Robert said, striding over to Arthur and shaking his limp hand vigoriously. Arthur made no attempt to reply to this greeting and just stared at Gwen with a look that pierced her deeply. Robert swung his arm about her shoulders and grinned broadly at Arthur. "Did you have business with us, Sire, or was this a social call?"

"No..." Arthur shook his head, the words so soft Gwen wondered if he'd replied at all. "I'll just be..." He slowly backed away, tearing his eyes from Gwen's to look at his own feet. With a quick glance up, he bowed his head in respect to them before disappearing into the night.

"Gwen." Robert said, not moving from the position they'd been in since Arthur left.

"Yes?"

"What was that about?"

"Don't even ask, Robert...just don't even ask..."

* * *

The sun rose very early the next day but Arthur had barely been asleep enough to realise. Everytime he closed his eyes, he was greeted with a replay of last night. Him. Gwen. That man.

The baby. This was why she'd been avoiding him. Why he hadn't seen it before, he did not know. She had clearly had another man in the picture for a long, long time and whatever they'd had had just been a one off. Any chances he'd thought he had of getting back with her were definitely gone now. It was one thing to be involved with a different person, but having their baby as well? No...no, Gwen had her own family now, her own life. It was his duty to step back and get on with his own. But how could she, how _could_ she...

And it was this he kept coming back to and the sinking pain in his chest when he realised she was someone else's. He was going to have to go out there today and accept Bella as his own now. 'Cause Gwen clearly was no longer it, nor wanted to be. That's why she'd been avoiding him, what a fool he'd been...

He groaned and swung his legs out of bed, sitting up just in time to get a faceful of the rising sun. It rose brightly and without warning, telling him that his final night as a single man was over.

* * *

"No." Merlin said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Another man? A baby? But...how long, I didn't know..."

"No..." Arthur said sadly, watching out the window. "Neither did I. But it makes sense now, it's what she wanted to tell me weeks ago, about the other man...And I brushed her off..."

"But have you seen this guy around? I've never seen Gwen with another man, never. Well, only Lancelot many months back, but..." He shut up as Arthur shot him a vicious look. "It wasn't Lancy then?" He said, grinning a little at his private nickname for Lancelot. The corner of Arthur's mouth jerked upwards at this but quickly fell again.

"No, some...Robert." He said bitterly, spitting the name out like it were venomous. "Southern-sounding man, must be a newcomer." He yanked his sleeping shirt off over his head and signalled for Merlin to spin round. Removing the last of his clothes, he carefully stepped into the tub and sat down, washing the water over him. Facing the wall, Merlin thought to himself.

"Maybe I should go down and visit? You know, offer my congratulations, find out more..."

"No." Arthur said sternly, running wet hands through his hair. "No, leave her be. Leave her to live her life and I'll live mine. And you...you can carry on doing what you do best."

"Being your agony aunt?" Merlin grinned and ducked when Arthur splashed water at him

"No, running around for me." Arthur said, scrubbing water into his hair. "Find my outfit, will you Merlin, I can't find it for the life of me..."

"Useless, you are." Merlin said, from the safety of the other side of the room. "Can't find anything if it hasn't got a big, colourful sign above it..."

"Merlin."

"Just doing what I do best, Sire."

* * *

It killed him to admit it, but she was gorgeous. As he stood at one end of the Great Hall, a new crown painfully digging into the sides of his head and a red cape weighing down his shoulders, he could see Bella enter through the double doors at the other end. Both his father and King Stefan were on thrones at the front of the Great Hall, second only behind him and Bella.

She looked as if she'd just stepped out of a fairytale. Her long blonde hair was gently wavy and clipped up behind her head. A few tendrils of hair curled about her face, framing it. Her eyes, big and brown, smiled warmly at him as she approached and he felt his heart increase by a tiny amount. She was also in red - a deep red - which made her eyes stand out and her hair contrast. She had been dressed to become the centre of attention and was holding this privilege up well. When she came to stand next to him, he offered her his arm and her tiny little hand slipped through. Smiling reassuringly at each other, they gave one last look to their days as single royal children and turned to face the man who would unite them.

* * *

Everyone was waiting. Why, she was not sure. No one could see what was happening in the Great Hall, but they all knew. Right now, this very moment, the wedding of Camelot's Prince Arthur and Messaline's Princess Bella was taking place and everyone was waiting to hear that the two were wed. For some reason, she was waiting too with Robert's arm around her waist. Since the events of the night before, Robert had not left her alone and had decided he was staying until his "child" was born. She had noticed several people gossping behind their hands and into their neighbour's ears, but she didn't care. As far as they were concerned, Robert was her partner and she was having his baby. The truth - that Robert was her visiting cousin and her baby was that of the prince who was just getting married - was far too complicated.

Standing in the middle of the courtyard, silent and still like everyone else, Gwen continued to wonder why on earth she was waiting for the one thing she dreaded most.

* * *

"Do you, Princess Bella Marianne Saxon of Messaline, take this man, Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot, to be your lawful wedded husband, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"And do you, Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot, take this woman, Princess Bella Marianne Saxon of Messaline, to be your lawful wedded wife, as long as you both shall live?"

_With the sun beating down on her curled raven hair and her hands, small and delicate like a girl's but covered in dust, gripping a vase, she looked every inch the ideal woman. Her hair wasn't tamed, her face had smatterings of dust and dirt from previous work and her dress looked like it had spent most of its life pressed against a floor. But all she had to do was smile and she looked every inch a princess. Who needs titles, jewels or fine clothes to be magnificent when the best things in life are those which are generally overlooked?_

_"What you see is this... You see a prince, a crown prince, decked in the finest fabrics royalty can buy. You see a serving girl, with hands as dry as a carpenter's and a dress still covered in a layer of dust. This. This is why we cannot be together."_

_"This is Robert, my...."_

_"Leave her to live her life and I'll live mine."_

_"I'll live mine."_

_"I'll live mine."_

"I do."

* * *

She didn't realise anything had happened until the roar of the crowd brought her back to her senses. Everyone around her was jumping and shouting and yelling their congratulations. Peering up, one hand covering her eyes from the sun, Gwen spotted them at the top of the castle. They were holding hands, dressed to match, with their fathers on either side. They were all grinning - him included. She felt Robert's fingers thread through her own and smiled at him, thankful for his company. She watched as Arthur lifted his hand holding Bella's into the air and shook it, signifying their union. Bella was smiling, her hair caught in the wind but still looking perfect. Everyone around was calling out to the new royal couple, yelling how beautiful she was, how handsome he was, what a remarkable couple they made and Gwen couldn't help the feeling of resentment she felt inside.

_Can't you see? _She wanted to say. _Can't you see it's not all straightforward? It's not all perfect? Not everyone's happy?! _But to them, it was perfect. They were happy. There was just him, their prince, and her, their new princess. And that was all that mattered.

* * *

For hours he had sat, on a throne near rival to his father's, with his wife by his side. They had danced several times and he had to admit, she was a very good dancer. He had had several drinks as barrel after barrel was rolled out and his goblet refilled. He had watched so many courses be marched out, he wouldn't be surprised if they were left eating leftovers for the next month.

In a room just off the Great Hall, presents were piled up from guests for him and Bella. Some useful, such as new swords or equipment. Some suggestive, a cradle and and a blanket only fit for a baby. Some downright useless - what on earth did he have use of a rat catcher? He had one of those - he was called Merlin.

As the early hours rolled by, he felt his head getting heavier although he knew he had no time to sleep. He knew, as well as Bella and everyone else in the room, what was expected of him when he retired and he was only a tad nervous. He wasn't that he hadn't done this before - he had but once - but Bella was still new to him, still close to a stranger and this frightened him. He didn't want to let her down but didn't want show off either, and give the impression that this wasn't his first time...which it wasn't.

Glancing at Bella, Arthur took the hint. He rose to his feet and waited for a few moments for silence to fall.

"Guests...People of Camelot...Father." He said, smiling at each in turn. "My wife and I thank you deeply and humbly for joining us on this special day and welcoming us into married life. Feel free to continue celebrating but my wife and I are tired and shall retire." He bowed his head to the people watching and held out his hand for Bella. Smiling, she took it and rose and, to the sounds of cheers from the Great Hall, they left for his rooms.

* * *

As he sat nervously on the edge of the bed, drumming his fingers together and glancing around the room, his thoughts keep coming back to her. He remembered, oh so many months ago, how it had been first time round. There was none of this awkward waiting, no uncertainty of what was to happen. What happened, happened because it was meant to. Because two people loved each other. Not because two people had been forced together and it was expected of them.

He threw his head back and sighed, biting his lip. Everytime he thought of Gwen, something inside his chest gave and all happy feelings dissolved immediately. He knew, he _knew_, he was going to have to get past this if he were to have a happy married life with Bella but it was seeming more and more unlikely the more he dwelled on it. He kept thinking back to her, her face, her words before swivelling it round to her, her new partner and her baby and that was where it got painful. He'd always imagined his wedding night to have her in it. There'd have been none of this sitting around awkwardly. It would have the same as the night many months previous, but they'd have been married. She'd have been his and the baby would have been his. That was how he visualised it.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Bella came to stand before him. She had changed from her rich wedding gown into a thin nightgown with a robe thrown over the top. Her hair had cascaded around her shoulders, making her look much younger. All thoughts of Gwen drained away as she put her hands on his shoulders. He looked up at her and tipped his head back as she kissed him - a warm, loving kiss.

_"Leave her to live her life and I'll live mine."_

He slowly brushed her hair behind her ear and looked deeply into her eyes before kissing her once more and taking her into his arms.

* * *

The pain was unbelievable. All rumours that Gwen had heard about childbirth were wrong, so very wrong. They did not go into enough detail about how _painful _this was. They definitely didn't give it enough credit. It felt like she was going to turn inside out if she tried any harder and she wished, oh she so wished, for Arthur to get a bad turn of the runs for subjecting her to this.

Robert had found her an outside midwife, not a resident of Camelot nor one associated with Camelot, who had pressed a cold, damp cloth to her forehead and was muttering down the other end of the bed. Previously, heck even yesterday, Gwen had decided that she'd rather go through this alone, not wanting to air her lady regions to a complete stranger. But now, with the pain rippling through her like an angry tide, she didn't care who looked at her as long as they made the pain go away. Every so often, the midwife would mutter about a new herb she'd heard that would take the pain away and Gwen would beg for it, or anything, which would make this easier.

Robert was pacing outside, looking at the sky, dotted with stars, and winced everytime a shriek bled out of the house. He prayed once more, like he had so many times this night, thanking whoever it was that had made sure only women could go through this 'cause he honestly didn't feel he'd be able to survive it.

"Please, is there anything...a-anything you can do?" Gwen cried, grasping onto the sheets underneath her as another contraction ripped into her.

"Baby come when baby want." The midwife simply answered and Gwen threw her head back in frustration. It had been a month since the wedding and if Gwen had thought that had been diffcult to stand, well...this made it look postively easy. For about 16 hours she'd been lying here now, crying and screaming and sweating like there was no tomorrow and she was beginning to wonder if she would _see_ a tomorrow.

"I see baby's head..." The midwife mumbled, grabbing extra towels and for a second, Gwen groaned at the amount of extra work she'd created for herself by spoiling these sheets. This thought was quickly forgotten as another wave of pain hit her and she felt every inch of her scream with the agony of it. Just as she was beginning to give up, something gave and she felt her entire lower half seem to act by itself and then, suddenly, there was a different type of scream.

"It's a boy, ma'am..." My midwife said, holding up a screaming, purple thing which was covered in blood and other slimy looking liquids, With his screwed up face and fists flailing everywhere, he did not fit the typical 'pink, chubby, pretty baby' but to Gwen, he was perfect. The midwife placed him on her chest and backed away to wash her hands. Fingering his tiny little hands and peering into his deep blue eyes, she smiled.

"Edward." She whispered, in a voice so soft it was barely audible. "Prince Edward..."


	6. The Note and the Tomato

**Author's Note: Thank you again for all comments left and favs added, they are all greatly appreciated =]**

**Disclaimer: As no one has given me the rights to Merlin, the only thing I own is this plot and my characters. The rest is BBC. Ciao.**

Married life was highly overrated. Arthur soon discovered that everything he did went through Bella first. Even going out to the forest for a training session with Merlin went via Bella first. He tried to think of it as endearing - it was because she cared, after all - and not as irritating. He had always been a very independant prince and hadn't yet mastered the act of being in a partnership.

One good thing, however, was that the people loved her. She smiled at them and waved, stroking baby's heads when their parents brought them to court and giggling when she found children in the royal gardens. It did make him smile to see such a happy, carefree girl skipping around the castle. Morgana had never been much of a 'skippy' girl and Gwen...no. No, he wasn't thinking about her. The less he thought of her, the easier it was.

With a sigh he rose from the table, pushing away the empty plate which had held his breakfast not too long ago. Spring was finally breaking through, making Camelot look like a fairytale kingdom once more. Looking out the window he watched people load up carts, greet their neighbours and go about normal business. He couldn't see her though.

Abandoning the window, he paced over to the chest of drawers and opened them, in search of his keys. There, underneath a broken sword handle and a belt which look like a rat had got to it - damn it Merlin - was the note he'd received from Gwen....oh, so long ago. Back during the time of Lady Vivian. It hadn't been their happiest time but it was the only note he had from her and so he'd kept it. There he stood, tracing his name in her careful writing, smiling as if he'd only received yesterday

* * *

Outside in the corridor, Merlin was just about to go into Arthur's rooms to retrieve his breakfast plate when he heard a woman's voice calling out. He frowned for a moment before rolling his eyes. Bella. If the woman had been annoyingly present before, well, marriage had made her worse. She, like several other women about town, had decided that Arthur was God's gift to women and five minutes without him was five minutes wasted. He knew eventually he was going to have to adjust to her - she was Arthur's wife after all - but good grief the woman hung around a lot. She seemed to have developed an uncanny ability to spring up out of the floorboards whenever Arthur got a moment's peace. And here she came.

Peering into the room, Merlin expected to see Arthur slouched at the table, no doubt ready to complain about something that Merlin had missed. Instead he saw him standing, simpering over a note. A note that looked surprisingly familiar. It took a moment to place until he realised it was one Gwen had left him. He should know, it had had pride of place on Arthur's bedside for a good week. Arthur had lobbed a boot at his head when he dared accidentally knock it on the floor. Good times, working in Arthur's rooms.

"Arthuuuuuur! Arthur, sweetie, where are you? I didn't see you at state breakfast!" Bella's voice sang down the corridor and Merlin winced. He peered back into the room, hoping to see Arthur straighten up and shove the note back into the drawer. Nope, the prat was still tracing the words with his finger. If he carried on, there'd be no words left to trace. Oh damnit, damnit, if she saw him fawning over another girl's note, she'd go nuts. And she'd definitely notice it. Bella was the sort of woman who could sniff potential betrayal a 100 yards away. Infact, Merlin thought it was a wonder she hadn't found it yet. Clearly still in honeymoon mood.

"Arthur? Arthuuuur? Oh, Merlin! Where is Arthur, is he in there?" Bella said, brushing her long hair behind her and smiling sweetly at him. Damn. He quickly moved to block the gap in the door and grinned widely at Bella.

"I-...I think he's just getting changed, m'lady, shan't take a minute!" Merlin said loudly and cheerfully, willing Arthur to hear and come back to earth.

"Oh, that's alright!" Bella sang happily, trying to move around Merlin. "I've seen him before" She added with a giggle. Merlin grimaced, moving in time with her in an unwilling dance.

"Arthur...gets...very...embarrassed...m'lady!" He choked out, darting this way and that to try and stop Bella. Thinking this was a game, she giggled again.

"Oh, Merlin, stop this foolishness! Let me pass!" She grabbed his shoulders and Merlin finally had enough. With a flash of amber irises, she was on the floor, passed out in a dead faint.

"Everything all right, Merlin?" Arthur stuck his head round the door, frowning. Typical, Merlin thought. Just typical. Merlin grinned back, trying to pretend nothing had happened.

"Merlin?"

"Yes, sire?"

"Did you knock out my wife?"

"...no, sire." Arthur raised an eyebrow and knelt to the floor, lifting the woman into his arms.

"So she just...keeled over then?" He said, raising an eyebrow and carrying her into the room.

"Yeeeeep. Must be the heat, too much for a northern princess, heh...heh..." Merlin said unconvincingly, hanging by the door. Arthur shot him a look which clearly said he didn't believe him as he laid the princess on the bed.

"Of course, and you just let her crash to the ground without attempting to catch her. Nice one, Merlin. Do me a favour and go and muck out my stables, I've been neglecting them lately." Arthur said, dismissing Merlin with a wave of his hand. Merlin turned away and rolled his eyes. Some gratitude, he thought to himself.

* * *

He was beautiful. His skin was a colour she'd never seen before. And it was as if a drop of chocolate had been added to vat of vanilla. It was tinted enough to hint at mixed heritage but not as dark as her own. His own unique, beautiful colouring. His hair defied all rules of her own - laying straight and flat on his head, but as black as the night itself. But his eyes...oh his eyes, still the deepest colour of blue she'd ever seen. Well, only seen once. She wasn't naive, she knew all babies were born with blue eyes. But she'd been expecting Edward's to darken, turn into her own shade. But no, stubborn as ever, they'd stayed a perfect blue so everytime Edward stared at her, all she saw was Arthur.

He was getting bigger everyday, moving on from opening his eyes to actually sitting up. Robert had joked that she'd be chasing him out the house soon, he was growing up so quick. He'd been gone a week now. Back to his own betrothed. Gwen had been shocked to learn this. So wrapped up in her own problems, she hadn't even asked Robert about his. With him now gone and the summer dawning faster than she'd imagined, Gwen had started looking into moving to a new house. This house, well...it held far too many memories and was too close to the castle for her liking. She'd spotted a nice cottage near the forest, right on the boundaries of Camelot. Close enough to be a part, but away at a safe distance.

Various people had came to visit, commenting on how beautiful Edward was and she thanked whatever power it was that looked after her that Edward hadn't been born the spitting image of his father. People asked where Robert had gone and she made an elaborate story about him setting off to visit far flown family where she couldn't go, because of the baby. They'd all sympathised with her, told her she was welcome to visit anytime, brought any mini blankets and sewn toys for Edward. Now that her stuff was packed, people had come to help her move. One kind man - a fellow she must have done a favour for some time ago - had lent her his cart and so it stood, outside her old house, stacked with her belongings.

She went outside, Edward held tight in her arms, and breathed in the spring air. It was beautiful day and reminded her that the jousting would be starting soon. Which made her wonder if she would attend this year. If Arthur would look for her. As if her own thoughts could summon him, she heard a familar voice cry out.

"Make way for their Highnesses Prince Arthur and Princess Bella, make way, make way!" Someone shouted and Gwen looked up to see Arthur astride his horse, Bella holding on from behind. He looked down at her and she noticed his face soften when he noticed Edward. Instinctively she turned Edward towards his father and smiled back. The spell was broke when she heard Bella remark on what a beautiful baby he was - and how she hoped one day she and Arthur would have a child as gorgeous as that woman's. Stepping back, she turned Edward back towards her and watched as the horse trotted away. Even as Bella's comment whriled around in her head, it didn't stop her noticing Arthur looking back until he was no longer able to.

* * *

That child had blue eyes.

Why did that bug him? All babies had blue eyes. Didn't Robin...Robert, whatever his name was, have blue eyes? Didn't he? To be honest, Arthur couldn't remember. He'd shunned all memories of Robert as best as he could and couldn't recall staring into his eyes deeply enough to notice what colour they were. Funnily enough.

"What happened to Merlin?" Bella's voice shook him back to his senses. He sat up straighter, trying to act as if he hadn't been in a world of his own.

"Oh, uhm...he just went to tell Father I wouldn't be able to make training today, that's all."

* * *

How many more times in his young life was he was going to end up with tomato in his eyes? Merlin had thought he'd actually manage to lie convincingly enough to get off the hook this time. He'd woven a wonderful story about Arthur being summoned out of town to investigate some Druid behaviour in the woods and thought Uther had fell for it. Until Uther had laughed, said Arthur was bound to be out with Bella somewhere, and threw Merlin in the stocks for lying. There was just no winning with royalty.

As another mushy, rotten piece of fruit connected with his head, he groaned. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Oh...that was nice of him." Bella smiled, leaning her head sideways against Arthur's back.

"Yeah...Yeah I suppose it was. " Arthur said, not believing a word that came out of his own mouth. Merlin had great fun being in the stocks and Arthur knew it to be so. "Here we are..." He said, pulling the horse to a stop and swinging down onto the grassy bank. Holding her arms up, he grasped her waist and swung her down too. It was a beautiful location, with the castle and a lake in the distance, the mountains in the background. He was trying, oh so trying, to bond with Bella,. His theory being that if he at least formed a friendship with his wife, it'd be easier to maintain a marriage. Of course it would help if Gwen didn't keep springing up as soon as his mind was distracted from her.

"What's up, Art?" Bella said, poking him in the chest once they'd say down and making use of the new nickname she'd conjured for him. One Arthur wasn't totally sure about yet. He shrugged, looking out to the lake and swinging an arm around her as she snuggled close.

"Oh...nothing..."

_Blue eyes_

"Nothing? It sure is a distracting nothing, you've said nothing all morning!" She said, grinning up at him and poking him again. He smiled at her, leaning down to rub noses with her. "That's more like it..." She said, so softly he didn't think he'd be able to hear if weren't as close as he was.

"Sorry, just...thinking about Merlin." Arthur said, throwing out the first excuse that came to his head. Bella laughed and threw herself back onto the grass, golden hair spread out behind her hair.

"Merlin!" She choked out, laughing at the sky. "You've never worried about _Merlin_ for this long!"

"He's a good servant!" He laughed back, lying down on his side and resting his head on one hand, propped by his elbow. "I wouldn't want him to get too much tomato in his eyes, he won't be able to see where to put down my dinner."

"Ha!" She cried, shielding her eyes from the sun with one arm flung over them. "Is that _all _men think about? When their next meal is?"

"Weeeell..." Arthur said, rolling his eyes skyward, pretending to be thinking hard. "That and other things."

"Liiiiike?" She said, edging closer to him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Like whether our horses have been cleaned out, whether our boots are safe from rats, whether our armour has been cleaned, when the next joust is, whether...- hey! Cut that out, stop it!" He cried, laughing as she battered his chest with two small fists. Grinning he lunged at her, sending her onto her back, watching as she rolled down the bank. Giggling she tried to stumble up, grass in her hair and staining her gown. Arthur was laughing too hard to realise she was coming right at him and suddenly they were both rolling down the bank, laughing and banging into each other's limbs.

When they finally stopped, he lay flat on his back, looking up at the clouds and breathing heavily. She swung herself up and collapsed onto his chest, staring intently into his eyes. Grinning he stared back, stroking a wisp of hair off her cheek. But instead of the dark, velvety brown of her eyes, all he could see was the hint of blue reflection from his own.

_Blue eyes. _

* * *

As they walked out of town, following the cart, Gwen sang to Edward - a song she remembered her own mother seeing to her oh so long ago. Occasionally he'd smile up at her, a smile she knew to be true and innocent. A genuine smile. And everytime he did, her heart melted that little bit more. She could now understand the lengths some people would go to for their children - why her father had worked so hard to protect her, why Uther went to such difficulties to keep Arthur safe. She knew she could safely say now that she'd walk up one mountain and down another barefoot if it meant keeping Edward safe.

The man who owned the cart had offered her a lift but she enjoyed the walk. The countryside was beautiful today, the sun reflecting off the lake and shimmering through the leaves. In the distance she could hear laughter, someone else enjoying this fine day. She smiled at the thought of it and turned her smile back to her son.

* * *

The sun grew higher in the sky, casting Arthur and Bella's shadows all around the bank. They were both spread out on the grass now, acting like a courting teenage couple rather than a recently wed prince and princess. But Arthur had taken this day deliberately to try and bond with his wife and nothing was going to get in its way.

So he thought.

All was quiet until he heard the approaching footsteps, growing loudly as they ran closer to him. Bella sat up first, her hair ruffled from lying on the grass for so long. It was only when the knight fell to his knees next to Arthur that he sat up quickly, startled at this unusual behaviour.

"M'lord...m'lady..." The knight choked out between breaths. "I came...as fast...as fast I could." Bright red in the face he stopped and bent his head, breathing fast and deep. Arthur narrowed his eyes, eager to know what news had brought the knight to him so fast. His first thought, as shamed as he was to admit it, was of Guinevere before he realised that no knight would run this fast over a serving girl.

"Speak, sir!" He said firmly, feeling Bella's hand rest on his elbow. "What is it? Are we invaded? Has another dragon returned?" He said, thinking it had been some time since Camelot had been threatened. The knight shook his head, still struggling for breath and Arthur grew impatient.

"Come on, man! You cannot be that tired, do we train for nothing?!" He said before softening his voice as Bella nudged him. The knight lifted his head and Arthur noted tears in his eyes.

"Forgive me, Sire...I came straight from the castle..."

"What is it, Sir?" Arthur said urgently and when no reply came, gave the knight a firm shake. Bella looked on anxiously, her big eyes wide and fearful.

"It is the king, sir..." The knight said, sitting up so he was level with Arthur. "The king is dead". And he fell to the ground once more.


	7. Afterward

**Author's Note: **Thank you once more for all the responses I got back regarding the previous chapter - can't believe so many people were surprised! Sorry to any Uther lovers, it had to happen =].

Disclaimer: Merlin is the property of the BBC, not me. I own my characters and I own this plot. End of.

The town was torn. From Gwen's perspective - as a person who was regularly part of the poorer areas of Camelot - it was as if they couldn't decide whether to be happy their king was dead or sad for their newly orphaned prince.

Even Gwen herself was torn. There was no love lost between her and Uther. It was, after all, he who killed her father as well as force her beloved into marriage. She was certainly glad he was finally gone. But then she looked at Edward, wide eyed and ignorant, and realised he had no living grandparents anymore. She thought of Arthur, with no family but the wife he'd recently had shoved at him and a son he did not know about, and her heart broke. He was alone now. Very, very alone. And it was all she could do to stop herself running up to the castle and throwing her arms around him.

In the upper towns and in the courtyard of the actual castle, candles were lit. People came and bowed their heads to the castle, as if Uther himself were still likely to march out. There was silence - not even a bird dared to break the peace which had fallen on the castle.

The lower towns, however, were a different story. Several had had family members, friends or even neighbours exiled or executed for things they did not do or say and so were dancing in the streets. They lit fires too - bonfires to celebrate the death of a tyrant and the dawning of a new king, a new era. But as glad as she was that Uther was gone, it felt like a betrayal in Gwen's heart to celebrate when she knew, somewhere, her own other half was breaking.

* * *

He looked asleep. Spread out in the royal chapel, her arms by his sides, jewels still covering his hands and body, King Uther looked like he was simply resting. Arthur had been standing here for well over an hour, watching, waiting. At first, the knights of Camelot had all stood with him, in a half circle around the table where the body lay. But after twenty minutes, Arthur had dismissed them. He'd watched as they all bowed low to him and made their way out and it felt so wrong. So very wrong.

At first Bella had stayed with him, her warm little hand pressed into his, her head resting against his arm as if it were her who needed comforting. Eventually he'd told her to go too - he needed to be alone. Having managed to hold it together for this long, and with the chapel completely empty, Arthur touched his father's ice cold hand before falling to his knees, hands coming up to cover his face. For a moment or two he stayed that way, whole body shaking with sobs, but not a sound uttered. And then he felt someone came down next to him, their arms folding around him, and his first thought was Bella until he realised the figure next to him was too strong. Just as he was about to reach for his sword, the person spoke.

"It's alright...it's just me..." Merlin knelt next to him, holding the prince close. Usually he wouldn't list personal contact under his list of duties but now, to him, they weren't prince and servant. They were friend and friend-in-need and Merlin knew what it was like to lose a parent. Losing his own father had knocked him for six, so to lose one who'd been there since day one...he couldn't imagine what pain Arthur was going through. Just that he shouldn't go through it alone.

For a moment he thought Arthur's pride would get the better of him and he waited to be knocked aside. But then he felt the prince relax a little, falling slightly against him and he held tight onto Arthur as another wave of sadness hit him. Glancing up at the king, Merlin put his own thoughts aside. What he felt about Uther didn't matter now - Arthur did.

They sat there for a good while, with Arthur trying to compose himself only to remember and be overcome with grief again. Merlin wanted to tell him he could cry as much as he wanted - but knew the prince wouldn't listen anyway. Arthur had been brought up to be strong, a figure of strength. Once he heard footsteps approaching, he quickly let go of Arthur - knowing full well Arthur wouldn't want to be seen as weak. As he predicted, Arthur flew to his feet, one hand quickly wiping his eyes. He looked down at Merlin, still on the floor, and held out his hand to the friend who'd stayed with him. Merlin took it just as a knight threw open the door and poked his head round.

"Sire?"

"Yes?" Arthur said, his voice slightly choked. Dropping Merlin's hand, he cleared his throat and answered again. "Yes?"

"Sorry, Sire, I didn't mean, it's just...Well." The knight looked at his feet, clearly uncomfortable at seeing his master distressed. "Uhm, the people are worried about you. They've not seen you since the, uhm, news. We were wondering if, maybe, you could...I don't know, just show them you're alright? Just to reassure them, you don't have to, we just..." He stopped as Arthur held up a hand.

"Of course. No, of course, they need reassuring that Camelot's safe and I am safe, I understand. You go on, I'll be up in a minute." He said, with a nod to dismiss the knight. Once the door was shut, Arthur turned back to the body of his father and a shadow crossed his face once more. Merlin swallowed hard, unsure of what to say, until Arthur sorted it for him.

"Merlin?"

"Yes, m'lord?"

"You will not speak of this to anyone."

"No, m'lord."

* * *

She'd heard rumour that Arthur was going to be appearing for the first time, so she'd prepared way in advance. With Edward strapped to her back - he was getting rather heavy for constant arm-carrying - and a hankie screwed up in her hand, she stood in the courtyard with rest of the people and waited.

At first Gwen thought he wasn't coming - they'd been waiting about twenty minutes now - but finally she saw movement at the top of the castle. Two knights came out followed by her - _her_ - and Merlin. And then Arthur stepped out, approaching the edge. He leaned one hand down heavily on the wall surrounding the edge of the castle, a gesture which spoke loud and clear to Gwen - he needed reassurance that the real world was still stable when his was falling apart. She clenched the hankie more tightly in her hands.

"People of Camelot." His voice rose from the silence and carried right down amongst the town. Everyone fell quiet, looking up at the sky. Gwen bit her lip, trying not to get upset, as she watched Arthur struggle with his composure and clear his throat.

"I hope you will forgive me. These past few days have not been the easiest for me since...- His voice caught and Gwen noticed Bella stepping forward, her hand on his arm. He nodded at her and addressed the court once more. "-...since my father's death and I pray for your understanding. I wish you to know that I am well and the court will be in mourning for the rest of the month." He swallowed hard and briefly closed his eyes - a gesture not missed by Gwen, who felt her own heart hurting for him. "Court will be dismissed for the remainder of this week in respect and remembrance to my father, but rest assured - no important matters will be ignored. I thank you for your kindness and good wishes at this very hard time..." He took a breath, shaking a little.

"God bless your Highness!" Someone shouted out and Gwen looked around to see if she knew them. But then others were shouting out too, blessings and kind wishes to their king, and she wondered whether he'd hear her if she shouted as well.

"Long live King Arthur!" Someone else yelled and then they were all chanting it, pledging alligence to their new ruler. Arthur raised a hand in recognition to their cries and Gwen watched as, one by one, everyone fell to their knees. Aware of Edward still on her back, she carefully lowered herself to the ground and bent her head, though not before she saw Arthur smiling back, a look of pain evident across his face.

* * *

It was stifling hot, the Great Hall packed to the point of suffocation as well as it being midsummer. His usual court was present, his knights and noble families. But as well as his own court, Bella's father's court had come to attend as well and all in all - in Arthur's opinion - there was far too many people.

Seated at the front of the hall, he listened to the old librarian warble away, remembering to nod at crucial points and answer when required. Next to him, Bella shivered with excitement and grinned over at her father, who was sat in the front row. It made Arthur long for his own father. He spotted Merlin and Gaius, lurking off to a side, although watching as intently as everyone else. The court had just come out of official mourning and although Arthur himself still felt terrible, he knew what was expected of him. And that was what had led him to here. With a room full of witnesses and a man about to crown him king, Arthur found he could barely breathe. After him came Bella's turn, although he wasn't sure he'd be able to maintain consciousness for that long. The old robe, previously his father's, was heavy on his shoulders and made him feel even more tired. He daren't think of how heavy the state crown would be.

In a room full of people, people all eager to watch and admire him, there was one vital person missing. One still alive, still breathing, one who should be here.

Next to him.

"I crown thee....king." He heard, as the heavy collection of gold and jewels was placed onto his head and the room erupted. People shouted congratulations and threw hats into the air in a most ecstatic manner. Bella grasped his hand, a hand weighed down with more rings than he cared to think about, and her face smiled joyfully up at him. He forced a smile back, first at her and then the two courts. Taking a deep breath, Arthur bowed his head - heavy with the new crown - at them and held up his hand to ask for silence. Immediately the room fell quiet and he gestured to the librarian to move onto Bella, not feeling he had the strength to vocalise his intent without collapsing in a dead faint.

* * *

And so it was done. He was king and she was queen and she was still a servant. And an unemployed servant at that. The roar of the crowd grew louder, descending from the castle like a ripple and Gwen could not drown it out. It wasn't that she didn't want to revel in Arthur's success, she just didn't want to be reminded of the woman at his side. The woman who, she felt, should be her.

Edward was on the floor, trying to pull himself along using just his elbows. Gwen had tried to discourage at this at all costs, thinking he'd end up scraping the skin off, and had pulled him up to a sitting position everytime she spotted him. But Edward, as determined and as stubborn as his father, simply fell forward again and maintained course for whatever he was aiming at - usually something Gwen didn't want him to have anyway.

She had to admit, the cottage was far more beautiful than she'd first anticipated. It looked right over the lake and forest, and the castle was visible through standing in the garden. She'd taken up washing and sewing for some of the local elderly ladies and many an afternoon she'd sit in the garden, Edward at her feet and a sheet in her hand.

"Edward, stop." She said gently, pulling one of her shoes from Edward's unwilling grasp. The small boy pouted, his large eyes staring up at her in a way which made Gwen feel guilty. She shoved a toy a neighbour had sewn for him into his grasp to keep him quiet - bad mother - and pulled the curtains shut. It wouldn't wash away the outside world but would at least give Gwen a feeling that she was in control of her own world.

* * *

It had been a long, painful day and the only thing Arthur wanted to do was sleep. He knew what Bella was expecting - their own private celebration of their crowning today - but he honestly did not feel he had the strength. Instead he pulled his shirt off and flopped down onto the bed, too hot to even pull a sheet over him. Lying with his eyes closed, he could almost pretend it was a year back. When the dragon had been released, when his father was still alive, when Gwen was still here. Until Bella came into the room and he was instantly snapped back to reality. There was no dragon. His father was dead. Gwen had left him.

"That was good today, huh?" Bella said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, brushing her long hair.

"Mmm..." He answered distantly, trying to go back to the place he'd felt happier.

"I was pleased Father came out, it was nice to see my own peo-...Are you there, Arthur?" Her voice piped up curiously and Arthur swivelled half-open eyes in her direction.

"Hmm? I'm here, Bella..."

"No, no you're not...Ever since...Well. Since then you've been somewhere else. Like you're not here." She said carefully, peering at him. He silently groaned.

"Bella, my father just died, I've been feeling a bit..."

"Oh, I know, I know, but...I was hoping you might feel...better soon. Could I help?" At the shake of his head, her shoulders fell.

"It just takes time, Bella...I'll be fine eventually."

"I hope so..." She said, getting off the bed and going to stand by the window. Oh heck, he thought, just what I need. A woman to reassure on top of it all.

"Bella, really, it's fine. Honestly, just...come to bed, it's been a long day, we'll feel better after some sleep." No response. "Bella?" With a sigh he swung his legs off the bed and groaned when the pain hit his head like a boulder and the world shifted before his eyes. He slowly made his way over to her, one hand up to his temple, the other blindly holding onto whatever he could. He stood just behind her, peering at her gently, when she spoke.

"Arthur...you are the king now." Her voice was so soft he almost had to strain to hear it. He nodded, confused.

"Yes..." He answered slowly, wondering what she was getting at.

"And kings should..." She began, but stopped. He frowned, running a hand through his hair and down his face.

"Yes...?"

"Arthur..." She started again and he noted her face was broken with worry, an unusual look to see on Bella. She touched his arm and bit her lip carefully and he drew his eyebrows together in confusion, waiting.

"I am with child, Arthur."

And for the first time that day, although he felt he'd been at risk several times, he fell into a dead faint.


	8. The Two Infants

**Author's Note: **Can I just say a big thank you to the positive response I received for the previous chapter - I am, as always, very grateful.

Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine. This story is.

He couldn't understand why he wasn't over the moon. This was perfect. First year of marriage and they were already expecting an heir. With any luck it would be a boy and the Pendragon's line would maintain its strong hold on the throne.

Bella was certainly thrilled. She spun around the castle in a permanent dance, telling any who would listen her good news - from her visiting aunt to the prison guard. It was very endearing, watching her be so happy, but Arthur couldn't summon up enough enthusiasm to join her.

The seasons were changing again, the trees covering the surrounding areas with golden and orange leaves. There was a chill in the air, one reminding everyone that winter was just around the corner.

He had lost count how many people had congratulated him on his 'good news'. He'd even had letters sent from surrounding kingdoms and King Stefan had sent his best carpenter to make the cradle. With all this going on, Arthur couldn't help but think they were rushing slightly. The prince - or princess, as Bella reminded him - wasn't even due til the spring, maybe even early summer. He wasn't good with dates.

With a growl of frustration, he threw down his pen. Now he knew why his father had spent so many hours stuck in this room, deep in conversation with someone or buried under paperwork. Being king was not all about throwing orders left, right and centre and wearing a crown. He had to juggle crop rotation, receive regular reports on how the borders were secured, reply to letters from other kings, listen to worries from the common people as well as pretend to be interested in all of them. And he could not get used to the crown at all. He remember how it had been a constant on Uther's head - he rarely saw his father without it - but anytime he could, Arthur removed his. It wasn't that he didn't like it, it was a very fine crown. he just didn't feel the need to wear it the whole time. Sure for formal occasions, or even speaking to the people, he wore it. But when he was working alone - like now - he saw no point to it.

Getting up, he shoved all the papers together and marched out of the room, remembering to put the crown back on as he passed the guards.

"Merlin!" He yelled as he strolled into his rooms and grabbed his sword. "Merlin!" Come on, we're going for a ride." He watched as Merlin appeared from under the bed, dust lining his shirt.

"Merlin, what are you..." He started as Merlin pulled himself out and dusted himself down.

"I thought I'd give it, you know, bit of a clean. It is so filthy under there, it is unbelievable..."

"Merlin."

"And I swear it's gotten worse since last time..."

"Merlin."

"So a quick dust couldn't hurt..."

"_Merlin._ Shut up and grab your things, we're going out."

"Really? Why, m'lord?"

"Because I said so, now _come on._"

* * *

He was at that stage when he was just starting to pull himself up. Gwen could sit and watch for hours as Edward grabbed onto things - the table, a chair leg, her dress - and launched himself up. He'd grin at her for a moment or two before staggering and landing straight on his behind again. She loved the look in his eyes as he stood for those few seconds, the magic that he'd been able to achieve, before he fell back over. Some mothers might have grabbed him before he fell each time but Gwen felt he needed to learn that she wouldn't always be there to provide a safe landing from an early age.

They were out in the garden, the grass being a safer landing than her hard, wooden floors, and the air was just starting to turn cold again. Gwen pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders, glancing up as the sun temporarily disappeared behind a cloud, and watched her boy drag himself towards a sunflower.

She had heard the news - who hadn't? - and have been trying her hardest to be happy for Arthur and Bella. As everyone said, this was a great news! A future prince, hoorah for Camelot. Gwen didn't quite see it that way though. Bella's pregnancy was just another wall which pushed her further away from Arthur. A son would cement his marriage to her forever. She was curious as to what they would name a prince. Copy her son's name and she would laugh at the irony of it all. As she thought about this, she heard a cry and immediately looked around, searching for Edward. She found him sprawled on the ground, the sunflower on top of him, where he'd pulled it down with him. He blinked up at her, eyes wide and surprised, before breaking out into a grin. Smiling, Gwen pulled him back upright and stroked the grass from his thick black hair. Hair the colour of hers and the texture of Arthur's. His eyes had remained blue, a blue that went beautifully with his hair and skin colour.

Gwen smiled as she pulled him onto her lap, breathing in his sweet baby smell, thinking there was no way Bella could produce a prince as beautiful as her son.

* * *

He'd lost count of the amount of people who'd called out to him and bowed as he'd rode out of the castle and through the town. Dutifully he'd waved back, ignoring Merlin's smirk from behind, and thanked the people for their congratulations towards him and his queen.

Now they were out in the forest, where it was cool and quiet, only the sounds of nature surrounding him. In another world he could happily live here, an easy domestic life in a beautiful environment. Although, on second thoughts, there were parts of his life that he thoroughly enjoyed - jousting, for one, tournaments and of course riding out to battle. But in a different world, one where he wasn't king, he could probably enjoy this too.

Merlin had already dismounted his horse and taken to throwing an arrow at a tree - the tree being the bullseye. Even with years of Arthur's guidance, Merlin still hadn't learnt the art of shooting arrows. Arthur rolled his eyes skyward as Merlin's arrow disappeared once more into a bush and started to walk away. From here, he could see the castle, standing tall and proud amongst the villages. The sky was alarmingly blue, patched with white clouds which would occasionally cover the sun and send a shiver down onto Camelot.

Hearing laughter, he tore his glance away from his own home and spotted a small cottage near a lake, just outside the forest, where a woman and a young baby were playing in the garden. He smiled, wondering if one day he'd see Bella and his child like that and feel the same sense of calm and happiness. He moved closer, wanting to observe this easy domestic approach, but stopped when he realised he recognised the woman.

Guinevere?

With a sense of curiousity too strong to ignore, he moved closer still, hidden behind a few trees. Gwen was laughing as her son - what was his name? - pulled himself up and attempted to stagger towards her before falling back over. Arthur had to smile, the boy was gorgeous, and it was good to see Gwen so relaxed and happy. He watched as she picked him up and swung him into the air, his laughter lighting up her face and giving Arthur a sense of peace too. She looked much healthier - life away from the castle had done her good - and Arthur leaned closer to get a better look, cursing as his sword connected noisily with the tree.

At the noise Gwen instantly stopped, holding the baby close. She peered carefully in his direction, a sense of worry crossing her face, and Arthur knew he was going to have to come clean or leave her paranoid. Taking a deep breath, he slowly emerged from the trees, watching as her expression changed, her grip loosen on the baby. Stepping closer to the fence dividing her garden from the forest, he watched as she put the baby back down on the grass and fell into a deep curtsey. Finding no words to say what he felt, he held up his hand - stop - and motioned her with his eyes to get back up. Gwen slowly rose, as silent as he, and moved a little closer to the edge of the fence. As she got closer, he watched her raise her own hand - what was she doing? - and realised he was still holding his own up. Carefully they moved til their hands met, palm to palm, his large hand dwarfing her small, rough hand. It was the first physical contact he'd had with Gwen since he'd walked out when he realised she was pregnant. His mind kept telling him to watch out, her southern partner would no doubt come strolling out soon, but his eyes stayed fixed on hers. And hers on his.

"Arthur? _Arthur?_" Jolted back to reality he heard Merlin's voice and jumped back from Gwen, hand still raised. She said nothing, but her face said it all - _you're leaving again. _Unable to bear the truth of what her expression read, he tore his gaze away and looked at the small baby on the grass. Shoving a dandelion into his mouth, the small boy turned and grinned up at Arthur, blue eyes shining.

_Blue eyes._

"ARTHUUUR!" Merlin's voice rang out from between the trees and with one last look back at Gwen, he turned and ran back into the forest.

* * *

With a month having past since the announcement of her pregnancy and Arthur spending more and more time locked away working, Bella had taken the time to walk amongst the town. Hidden under a hood, she could easily spend an afternoon watching people go about their business - it was a far better way to spend the day rather than being cooped up in the castle. And being only a few weeks 'til full on winter set in, it was good to get out before the weather made this sort of excursion unpleasant.

As she walked, she watched men load up their carts, bang swords into shape with heavy mallets, shoe horses and provide other areas of business that she took for granted as Queen. She watched the children run out on the dusty road, heading for the fields, and she smiled, hoping that one day her own child would be as playful as these.

So observed in watching how the other half lived down in the town, she didn't notice until it was too late that she was about to collide head on with another woman carrying a bucket. The two women smacked together, the bucket bouncing between them and falling to the floor and Bella instantly put a hand to her abdomen before looking at the other woman. She had fallen to the floor, her hair tumbling out of its clasp, and was more worried about grabbing her bucket rather than dusting her dress down.

"I am so sorry..." The woman started, taking hold of the wooden bucket's handle and pulling herself to her feet. "Should have looked where I was..." She cut off when she looked at Bella's face and Bella instantly saw the look of recognition cross her face. Along with another expression...pain? Having only seen the queen a few times in her life, the other woman shouldn't really have been able to recognise her so instantly. Unless, of course, Bella was the one person the other woman could never forget.

"Forgive me, madam, I was not looking..." The woman said, bowing her head and curtseying.

"No, forgive me, I was away in a dream..." Bella said, smiling, taking note of the woman's kindly face.

"Fault is all mine, your Highness..." The woman murmured but Bella shook her head, brushing her hands clean down her cape.

"Nonsense, simple misjudgement is all." Bella said, encouraging the other woman to look with her eyes before smiling warmly at her. "Tell me...what is your name? Forgive me, I've not spoken to anyone other than my ladies in days..."

"Guinevere, m'lady." The woman said, brushing a raven curl back.

"Guinevere." Bella repeated, nodding thoughtfully. "You've lived in this town all your life?"

"Well, actually, my lady I used to work in the castle, for the Lady Morgana..."

* * *

Running through the town, arms laden with books with Gaius, Merlin stopped as he noticed a recognisable figure standing on the path. Gwen? He edged a little closer, not wanting her to spot him when he really was in a rush to get back. When he realised who she was talking to, he fell back, a sense of horror overcoming him. Gwen...and the Queen?! Oh no. Arthur would not like this at all, ohhhh no. The last thing he wanted was Bella finding a new friend in Arthur's old lover. surely Gwen took no joy in talking to this woman? He glanced at Gwen's face, noting a mixture of emotions. Shock at walking smack into the one woman she resented. Pain at being confronted with Arthur's other half. But, also...a slight curiosity to this woman who was living the life Gwen had dreamed of.

Before either noticing him, he quickly turned on his heels and hightailed it back up to the castle.

* * *

And so the months flew by for Arthur, who spent his time torn between two sides. The demands of the kingdom and the demands of his wife. If he wasn't signing peace treaties with neighbouring kingdoms, he was being dragged to admire the new cradle. And if he wasn't complementing Bella on her latest patchwork blanket, he was being summoned back to place his sword on the shoulders of a new knight. It was exhausting business, playing the part of a professional hard-working king as well as doting, family-orientated king.

For a few weeks in the dead of winter, he and his knights had ridden out to the far northern borders of Camelot, after word of a threat came through. In the bitter cold they'd fought, knocking down any intruder who tried to get past them before riding back, three men down, nearly all of them injured and thoroughly exhausted but victorious. Bella had been good to him for a week after he'd got back, tending to his injuries and listening to his stories of what happened. It had reminded him of when Gwen had taken care of him years back when he'd been knocked down, her cool hand soothing the raging heat of his forehead.

Whenver he got like this, rushed between his duty to his wife and kingdom, he thought of her. How she'd been six months ago in her garden, as beautiful as ever. And the sense of peace she brought him, how she'd made him whole. And as the date for the new prince's arrival drew ever closer, he found himself thinking more and more of Gwen as the pressure mounted.

It happened one day when the first warm winds of the year swept through the kingdom. He was sat at his table, the knights surrounding him, all hanging onto his every word and movement. Since their success in the north, he'd been rated more highly as a king, his respect mounting. They'd just started discussing the defences of the western corner when one of Bella's ladies threw herself through the doors, the guard behind her looking utterly bewildered. Arthur had jumped to his feet at once, only too aware of what was happening - Bella had been preparing him for the last two months. He'd gone out after her, a powerful stride to her panicked run. And here he was now, in the presence chambers of Bella's rooms, pacing back and forth. Occasionally one of her ladies would hurry out, arms full of bloody sheets and he'd reel back in alarm. Having never been around a birth before, he had no expectations of what was to happen or how messy it was. Bella's shrieks echoed throughout the castle and Arthur couldn't help but associate it with the screams of when the dragon had attacked Camelot - those of pure terror and agony. He felt rather glad he was outside, rather than in there, watching her go through this.

Night fell over Camelot and Arthur carried on waiting. Merlin had brought him a light dinner, but he'd waved it away. He was far too worked up and nervous to try eating. He had considered sleeping, but there was clearly never going to happen. Bella's screams had just intensified the more time went past and he wondered how Gwen had gone through this. Whether her southern "friend" had been with her. Thinking of that, he hadn't seen that guy around lately. Maybe...

"Sire!" Pulled from this thoughts, he glanced up urgently as one of the ladies burst out of the privy chamber. He dragged his eyes away from the bloodstains on her dress and looked straight into her eyes. "A boy, m'lord! A prince! A prince, sire!" She cried and ran happily back in, leaving the door open for him to follow. Ignoring the strange smell and stuffiness of the room, he went in, smiling at Bella as he went. Sitting up in bed, she looked completely exhausted but joyous at the same time. Her hair was slicked back with sweat and her face still red from the effort. But in her arms, wrapped in a once white towel, lay the tiniest baby Arthur had ever seen. And at that he couldn't stop smiling. Carefully he lifted the baby from its mother and held it close. Eyes, as dark as the night with a hint of blue. Blonde hair, surely too thick for a newborn but as present as anything. He moved closer to a candle, smiling at the baby's perfect features, before pressing a gentle kiss to its forehead.

"He certainly is beautiful, m'lady." A voice said and he whipped round in horror, startling the baby enough to open its eyes and choke a sound out. But Arthur was no longer looking at the baby who would one day wear his crown but at the woman wiping his wife's forehead.

"Oh, Arthur." Bella said, smiling up at the maid. "May I introduce my new lady, Guinevere." And she beamed from one to the other, unaware of what she had just caused.


	9. Strange Similarity

**Author's Note: **Thank you once more all the feedback and reviews I've received so far - it is always good to hear that someone is enjoying your work =]

A few people have pointed out that I do skip from major point to major point - and you're absolutely right! I'm one of those people who've set themselves a strict plan of what happens in each chapter and it's just trying to cram all that I want into one chapter. So it does progress very quickly. I have tried to add some more conversations, just so we're not leaping from one thing to another. So here we are, a transition chapter!...Sort of!

Thank you again to those who commented =]

PS: Apologies for the delay - had some trouble uploading these past few days.

Disclaimer: This story belong to me, Merlin does not. End.

It was just how she remembered. With the rushing around, set mealtimes, various feasts and knights left, right and centre, it was as if she'd never left. Several times Gwen expected to go into the Great Hall and see King Uther in his throne, Arthur slumped on one side, Morgana on the other. But no more. Now she'd go in, as part of Bella's train, and see Arthur in the main throne, Bella on the one to his right and Morgana's chair absent.

It wasn't as bad as she'd expected, being part of Bella's ladies. It hadn't been her intention whatsoever. When they'd met in the street, several months before, Gwen had told Bella about her previous experience as maid to the Lady Morgana and then suddenly, she was being summoned and told that the queen was in labour and wanted a maid with experience - Gwen had happened to add she had a child of her own. She didn't add that the child she had was brother to new prince.

She had never seen Arthur look more uncomfortable though. The light that had shone in his eyes when he'd held Prince Phillip had almost made her melt. That was until he turned round, spotted her, and nearly dropped the newborn prince. She'd dreamt so many times of Arthur meeting Edward and knowing who he was and to see him interact with his son...it was as if her dreams had come true. Except she wasn't the exhausted mother and Prince Phillip wasn't her own beautiful son.

As Bella's new trusted friend - and where was the irony in _that_? - she had been made part of Prince Phillip's household. His governess was a very old woman by the name of Lady Matilda - although Gwen never used her first name - who claimed to have been governess to the king himself. Arthur had shrugged this off, saying it was possible, and as long as the woman had experience and Bella was happy, then he was happy.

With the sun filtering in through the stained glass windows - special windows made to commemorate the prince's birth - Gwen sat next to the cradle and peered in. All the other ladies, mostly giggly young girls, were in Bella's rooms and Gwen honestly had no idea where the Lady Governess was. Prince Phillip lay sprawled on his back, a white blanket with a lining of gold thrown over his legs, blinking into the sunlight. However much she hated it to admit, Gwen had to say he was rather sweet. Not a patch on her Edward, of course, but sweet. But the luxury lathered onto this child! She couldn't help thinking that just by selling his blanket, you could feed a good six or seven households in her old end of town.

She was just debating this when she heard the door open and immediately straightened up, expecting her mistress to stroll in and start fawning over the baby. Instead she stood up, ready to curtsey, and found herself staring into the eyes of the king.

"Guinevere."

"...Sire." She dipped slightly, head bowed, and he nodded tightly.

"I just came by, to uhm..." He nodded at the cradle and Gwen shrank back, eyes fixed on the floor.

"Of course." She murmured as Arthur approached the cradle, his face lighting up as the baby blinked back at him. "He is a credit to you, Sire." She added, watching Arthur stroke Prince Phillip's light dusting of hair.

"Yes..." He smiled, straightening up and looking back at her. "How is your...?"

"Oh my boy is doing well, almost mastered walking." She blushed and he grinned, his smile reaching right to his eyes.

"I can't imagine him walking..." Arthur answered, nodding back to the cradle. Gwen smiled back, from loving parent to another, just as the door opened again. They both turned and looked as Bella stood in the doorway.

"Oh! Bella, dear! I just came by to visit the prince. Guinevere - it is Guinevere, isn't it? - was just telling me how he's been doing." Arthur said smoothly and Gwen watched as Bella simpered and hurried past them both to the baby. She lifted him up, moving the blanket around him and smiled down into his tired face. Arthur moved next to her and smiled down at the boy too, stroking his cheek with one finger. Gwen stood to a side, feeling and looking like a spare part. Bella lifted her gaze just long enough to catch sight of Gwen and raise her eyebrows.

"You may go, Gwen." She said dismissively before turning her attention back to the baby and barely noticing as Gwen slipped out.

* * *

The years began to roll by, passing so quickly Arthur was beginning to lose track. It couldn't really have been that long since his father died? Since he'd been married? Since he'd been a _father? _Prince Phillip was becoming more and more like him as the days went by. At 5 years old, he was showing good potential, strutting around the castle like Arthur himself had done at that age. He had already bought him his first pony - a sweet little thing which trotted along at a rate for Phillip to learn and he and his father spent many afternoons riding around Camelot, helping Phillip to become more and more used to handling a horse.

The spring had come again, just passed Phillip's fifth birthday. Arthur had thrown a grand celebration in the Great Hall and even King Stefan had come by to wish his only grandson a happy birthday. It hadn't occurred to Arthur before, but when King Stefan was dead, Phillip would be the only heir remaining. This became clear to him when King Stefan told the small boy that his present to him was the Act of Succession. Phillip, of course, hadn't really understood and had cast it off as a pretty useless present. But Arthur had twigged it as soon as King Stefan said it. As soon as King Stefan and Arthur were gone, Phillip could unite the kingdoms of Camelot and Messaline. In the event of King Stefan dying before Arthur (very likely), Phillip would become King with Arthur as Protector until his eighteenth birthday. To Arthur, that sounded like a darn good fifth birthday present. To Phillip, his best present had to be his first bow and arrow. And Arthur couldn't really blame him for that.

It had become easier, living with Gwen in close contact once more. In all truth, he was rarely in her presence for more than five minutes at a time. As Bella's ladies, she was constantly in Bella's shadow and so he never saw her on her own. There would be times when he'd be sitting in the Great Hall, surrounding by courtiers and friends alike, and he'd find his gaze drifting over to the ladies' table, where Gwen sat with the other women of Bella's household.

In other good news, Bella was pregnant once more. She had quietly told Arthur one morning a few weeks back and he had been quite thrilled at the prospect of a second Phillip. Before, the idea of children had terrified but now, having raised Phillip, he quite enjoyed it.

"That's fantastic news..." Gwen had murmured, as Bella and her ladies disappeared for a walk in the gardens, leaving Arthur and Gwen alone in her rooms.

"Yeah..." Arthur had smiled, wondering what else he could say to this woman whom he had such a past with. He looked at her, hair still as shiny and curled as ever, eyes bright, hands worn and rough. And he felt...well, it was hard to describe. Something he'd not felt for many years. Like he was developing a crush on a woman he already loved. At this thought, he felt himself blushing and turned his head away, incase Gwen still had the power to guess what he was thinking. He glanced up, feeling like a boy again, and noticed her watching him. Immediately his stomach did a flip and he almost felt sick. _Get a grip, Arthur, _he thought frustrated, _you're a married man and a king at that. Pull yourself together. _He smiled back at her, a smile which - he hoped - showed her just how much he loved her still.

And then suddenly, she was in his arms. The same height, the same figure, the same smell - it was all right. This is what he'd been missing all those years. As Gwen found his mouth and kissed him deeply, he realised this was right too. Bella had always been a little too tall for him, her perfume a tad too fragrant. As awful as he felt to admit it, even her teeth didn't feel right against his. He wrapped his arms around Gwen and hugged her tightly, lifting her off her feet. If it was possible for the world around him to stop, he felt it had. All he could think of was Gwen and how much he'd been missing. As soon as he was about to fall head over heels into what he really shouldn't, Gwen pulled away.

He opened his eyes, eyes flooded with love and desire for her, and noticed the same look in Gwen's eyes. Her cheeks were stained pink, her hair slightly more unruly than it was before and she was breathing heavier - as if she were either very excited or very nervous.

"Sire, I am so sorry..." She fell into a curtsey and Arthur was there in an instant, grabbing her arms and trying to pull her up, so he could see the look in her eyes once more. But she pulled away, tears in her wide eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...". And with that, she ran out of the room, leaving Arthur alone.

* * *

The summer was upon them and Arthur found himself spending more and more time with Phillip, out and about in Camelot. The fields and banks near the lake were a beautiful environment to teach his son to hold a sword as well as practise on Jasper - the newly named pony. Bella had nearly had a fit when he'd told her he was going to train Phillip. It had taken him ten minutes to reassure her that it would be a little wooden sword and no harm would come to their boy. But he knew what Bella was seeing. He looked at Phillip's face, the baby fat slowly disappearing before his eyes, his golden curls being frequently brushed behind his ears, his big brown ears eager to be just like his father, and wondered if he could imagine watching the boy ride out to battle. He remembered the several times he'd ridden out and been brought back, carried by the other men and lain in Gaius' chambers. He remembered waking up to find his father's face flood with relief and at the time, he couldn't understand it. What was there to worry about? He was fine!

But watching Phillip now, his wooden little sword poised, a frown creasing his perfect baby face, Arthur understood how much it would kill him to see his boy hurt. At the moment, Phillip was his only heir and the most precious thing to Arthur.

"Look, Father! I can do it!" Phillip cried and whipped his sword against Arthur's shin. Previously Arthur hadn't realised just how painful a small stick of wood could be. but he quickly smiled wide to hide the pain and clapped his son on the shoulder.

"Good one, son! Now, hold your sword like this, it means there's less chance of your opponent knocking it out of your hands." He moved the small boy's hands around the handle and felt the 'blade' connect with his leg again - just harder this time. "Nice one, Phillip!". The boy beamed up at him, clearly pleased to be in his father's praise.

"One day, Father, I'm gonna be the best kite in the whole kingdom!"

"I'm sure you will be...the best kite?"

"Mhmmm!" Phillip answered, swinging the sword at a nearby tree. Arthur smiled to himself, remembering the afternoons Phillip spent with his governess, her teaching him to write.

"It's 'knight' lad, you want to be a 'knight'."

"Lady Governess says it has a 'k' on the front, which makes it like 'kite'."

"Yes, but it's got a 'n' in there too. The 'k' is silent. You want to be a knight, trust me."

"Alright..." Arthur watched his son screw his face up, trying to work his way round this. "I'm going to be the best knight in the whole kingdom!"

"You definitely will be." Arthur said, watching his son attack the tree for a moment longer before turning and looking out over the lake, to the nearby countryside. In the distance he could see Gwen's cottage, on the other side of the water, and her boy playing in the garden. "I'm just going over here, Phillip!" Arthur called back as he headed down to the water's edge, but Phillip was far too busy hitting the tree with its own produce than to worry.

He stood right by the edge of the lake, one hand cupped over his eyes to shield them from the sun. He couldn't see Gwen anywhere - though she was probably in the castle somewhere. He had heard her telling Bella that a neighbour had offered to watch her son for her while she was at work. Although, in all fairness, Arthur couldn't see this neighbour either. The other boy - Edward, he thought Gwen had told him - looked about Phillip's age, a little older, but dressed very differently. Whereas Phillip jumped about in fine cloths and sturdy boots, Edward was running around in what looked like home-made, several-times-worn clothes with no shoes and a battered hat to keep him from the sun. He stood and watched as Edward picked up a stick and started swishing it through the air. Frowning, Arthur turned and looked back at Phillip - only to see the action being mirrored by his son, although neither boy had seen the other. He looked back at Edward, aiming an attack on a fence post and wondered how this boy was managing to act just like his own son without ever meeting him.


	10. The Match

**Author's Note: **Thank you very, merry much of all the responses I've received so far. It does make it all worth while to hear what people think of your work and I am grateful to everyone who's taken the time to follow this story =]

Disclaimer: In total, I own this plot aaaand my characters. And there it ends. Merlin belongs to the BBC.

It was the middle of the night and Arthur couldn't have been more tired if he'd tried. He'd spent the best part of the day out with the knights and had been called during dinner to be told that Bella was in labour. And so here he was, in the small hours of the morning, in Bella's presence chamber. Phillip - whose room was usually close to Bella's - had been moved to the other end of the castle to get his sleep and Arthur couldn't help feeling envious of him. He'd get a good night's kip and wake up to a new sibling. Arthur on the other hand...

He glanced at Merlin. Merlin, who had promised to stay up with him and had lasted a total of 25 minutes, was sprawled across the table, one hand holding his head up. Watching him, Arthur spotted Merlin's head slowly slipping off his hand and was waiting for the _thud _as it hit the table. Any decent master would tell his servant to go get rest - but seeing as Merlin had offered himself up for this and had never had to experience it before, Arthur felt it only fair that Merlin stay too. He'd sort of hoped that Merlin would find a nice serving girl to marry and have his own children. Not to get rid of Merlin, of course, no. Just so Merlin could spend his nights pacing a chamber and waiting for news.

"Uhhh...no...no I didn't steal your sword...I took it to be shod..." Merlin murmured in a dreamy daze, his hand swaying dangerously under the weight of his head. Arthur watched him from the window through tired eyes, one eyebrow raised at the nonsense Merlin was rambling. "I'll just have a little helping of boots and..." _THUD_. Merlin's head connected heavily with the old table and he shot up in his seat in an instant. "I'm awake! I'm awake!"

"Sure you are." Arthur muttered, running a hand through his hair.

"Any news yet?" Merlin asked, rubbing his eyes and blinking a few times, trying to wake himself up.

"If there were, do you think I'd be standing here, Merlin?"

"Alright, fair point..." Merlin yawned and scratched at his own hair. "Is it morning yet?" Arthur shot him a look before looking back out the window into the dark courtyard and Merlin nodded. "Oh..."

"Yeah. Oh. Gee, Merlin, you tell me you'll stay up with me and within half an hour, you're off in your own world."

"I am exhausted! Maybe if you didn't have me running round all day, mucking out your horses, polishing your sword, fixing your boots, de-ratting your room and everything else that springs into your mind, I wouldn't be so knackered come the middle of the night!"

"Oh, shut up, Merlin." Arthur said, too tired himself to argue. "One day this will be you, waiting for hours at a time."

"Can't wait..." Merlin mumbled, his voice flat before his head connected with the table again and a snore arose. Arthur rolled his eyes and glanced at a flickering candle on the windowsill which was edging its way further and further down. It was only when he began to get agitated by Merlin's snoring that he realised it was quiet. No noise from Bella's room. Which was odd, considering last time. And slightly worrying.

* * *

With her hand squished completely out of shape by Bella's unusually tight grasp, Gwen bit down on her lip to stop herself from crying out. Bella was determined, for some reason, to not utter a single sound and Gwen had to give her her due - she was doing well. Bella had seemed to have got it into her head that proper queens didn't howl the place down during labour, even though every woman in the room had reassured her that it was fine. Gwen watched as her mistress' face darkened to an even deeper red, her teeth clenched down on a sheet in her mouth, her hand crushing Gwen's once more. Gwen blinked back the tears of pain in her eyes and wondered how many more of Arthur's children she would have to help into the world before it finally broke her.

A different kind of squeal filled the air, a squeal of a child and Gwen tore herself from her thoughts just in time to see Arthur's daughter being lifted up into the air.

* * *

News of the newborn princess quickly spread about the town and Arthur had barely had enough time to hold his daughter before word came from King Stefan that the old king was coming to Camelot to visit his family - and he expected a grand celebration to be held. Arthur had had to try very hard not to roll his eyes dramatically when he'd heard this. A celebration in King Stefan's eyes it may have been - to Arthur, it was extra work to be organised and prepared for. Nevertheless, he obliged to his wife's father and order a grand day to be held in honour of his daughter, featuring a joust and a feast.

Just like her older brother, Princess Aurora had a thick covering of blonde hair but she was definitely smaller than Arthur's first child. She was very light in his arms and Arthur - who had been a father for 5 and a half years and thought himself accustomed to small children - often felt that he'd break her if he held her too tight. In all honesty, Prince Phillip wasn't really that interested. Turned out he'd been hoping for a brother - someone to play fight with and race horses against, apparently - and a sister just didn't fit the bill. Arthur didn't mind though. Sure, she was a girl, so it meant he still had only one male heir. But in being a girl, he could keep her close. She wouldn't go riding out to battle and leave Arthur with the fear that she was dead in a ditch. But he already swore, deep in his heart and not to Bella - that when the two royal children were old enough, they could pick their own partners in life. Arthur wasn't going to be bethrothing them to people they'd never met. Sure, he'd received offers. The king of Henrich had already offered his eldest son - a Prince George who was all of two years old - and Arthur had actually considered it. Marrying his daughter off to a future king could secure yet another treaty with a neighbouring kingdom. But then he'd looked down at Aurora, blissfully asleep, and saw a teenage princess, sneaking out to meet a merchant's son, and being heartbroken when she heard she was promised to a foreign prince. He couldn't put her, or Phillip, through what he'd had to go through. As long as they were happy, he was happy.

He hadn't bothered sharing this thought with Bella. Bella, who considered her betrothal to be a success, would definitely object and no doubt get her father involved. It was easier just to ignore the whole situation and pretend to be too infatuated with his daughter to care. Which wasn't that hard to pretend actually.

"You can't say you're actually thinking of going in for this joust, are you?" Merlin asked, watching Arthur smile at the little girl in the cradle.

"Of course I'm going in for it! Phillip needs to see that being a king is more than just sitting on a throne. He needs to see that his father is still the best fighter in Camelot."

"But..."

"No buts, Merlin." Arthur said, wiggling a finger in front of the baby's face and watching her eyes follow it.

"Arthur please..." Both men turned, surprised to see Bella in the room and doubly surprised to realise that neither of them had noticed her. "Please don't. Let the knights ride, it's not safe..."

"It is my duty as king to show the people that I am still strong enough to protect their city and it is your duty as my wife to accept my decisions." Arthur spat out, looking furiously over at Bella, who immediately dropped her head. He sighed - nights with little rest had led him to become more easily agitated and he really wasn't in the mood for Bella now. "I'm sorry." He said finally. "But it is my decision and mine alone. I will be riding in that joust tomorrow." And with that, he straightened up and marched out of the room, Merlin a few steps behind him.

* * *

Sitting nervously next to her mistress, Gwen twisted the hankerchief into a knot in her hands and tried to calm down. Bella seemed to be in a daze, sitting alone on the double thrones, looking out to space. This was actual ideal - with Bella so distracted in her own world, she wouldn't notice Gwen getting more and more wound up next to her. Glancing down the row of seats, Gwen spotted Phillip next to his governess. Bella had pleaded with Arthur to let him stay in the castle but Arthur, being as stubborn as always, had said that it would be good for Phillip to observe knights in action and ordered him to be brought down. Phillip, of course, thought this was wonderful. He'd chattered none stop the entire way down, asking if anybody died and how many, almost to the point where Gwen wanted to clip him one. She thought of her own boy, who spent his days fishing, fashioning swords out of sticks and learning - to Gwen's horror - how to chop logs - completely oblivious to the danger his father was putting himself up for and the delights of court that his half-brother observed daily.

Phillip was sitting on the edge of his seat, small hands clenched, eagerly looking out for any man who looked remotely like his father. Bella had managed to get the hair right - Phillip was as golden as his father - but his eyes were as dark as hers, Gwen thought. On the other side of the empty throne, King Stefan sat, a look of excitement in his eyes. Gwen couldn't help but think that he was definitely looking older now, silver speckling his hair more than brown. Another glance at the empty thone and Gwen couldn't stand it.

"Just going to get a drink, m'lady..." She murmured as she got up, throwing a glance at Bella but the queen didn't seem to hear her. Picking her way through knights, horses and various bystanders, Gwen approached Arthur's tent and slipped in past the guards. He was standing with his back to her, in full armour, helmet under one arm. As he turned, she sank to the ground.

"Guinevere!"

"Sire, I just..."

"Please don't try and convince me otherwise, Guinevere, I've had it all morning from Bella..." He said gently, moving one hand under her chin and encouraging her to rise. She looked up at him with big fearful eyes and he swallowed hard.

"I didn't, I just..."

"Please Gwen..." Arthur said, slowly removing his hand but not before Gwen felt it caress the side of her cheek. She felt the overwhelming urge to grab it and hold it back there.

"I just came...to wish you luck, Arthur..." She said, reverting back to the first name terms. He blinked, surprised at her chance in formality and smiled.

"I'm going to need more than luck, Gwen...will you..." He stopped and took a breath, wondering if what he was going to say was the right thing anyway. "Will you...let me wear your favour?"

"My...But...Arthur, the queen..."

"I wouldn't wear it where she would see. Please, Gwen. It'll make me feel better." He stared into big brown eyes and she could practically feel him boring into her soul. She looked back and saw her son's wide eyes, cheekily flashing before her. Mentally she stepped back - how come she hadn't noticed how similar Arthur and Edward were before? - and slowly untied the piece of cloth holding her hair back. Long raven curls fell, framing her face, as she held up the piece of lilac cloth. She watched him kiss it and tuck it inside his armour, completely gone from view.

"Thank you..." He said, so quietly Gwen wondered if she'd imagined it, before giving her a slow kiss on the cheek and striding out.

* * *

It was very bright for a midwinter day. But strikingly cold. Gwen sat, huddled in her shawl, trying to close in on herself as much as possible. Beside her, Bella didn't even seem to feel the cold. Her lifeless eyes stared at the pitch, occasionally flickering towards the running horses, but Gwen was getting the feeling that Bella didn't really want to be here.

She couldn't see Arthur now. With all the men in their armour, helmets on, lances held, they looked all the same. She had spotted Merlin, dashing about every now and then, but no Arthur. Name after name was reeled out, followed by two random knights charging at each other before a cheer arose from the watching crowd. And none of them Arthur. After about six rounds, Gwen was beginning to hope that maybe Arthur had pulled out, talked to his senses by Merlin.

"His Highness, Arthur Pendragon riding against Sir William Pickett!"

At the sound of Arthur's name, both Gwen and Bella straightened up, drawn to the one man who held them both. Arthur was pulling himself onto the horse and taking his lance from Merlin. The crowd had fallen silent, all waiting in anticipation to see how this match would play out. Gwen watched him ride towards his end of the pitch and give a deliberate nod in her direction. Bella answered, giving a small quick nod of her own, and Gwen couldn't be sure whether it was her Arthur was addressing or the queen. The other man - William somebody - also nodded in respect to the queen but Bella barely noticed. Her eyes were fixed on Arthur's every move, as if she'd been forewarned of an approaching danger, and was trying to keep Arthur in sight at all times. Gwen clenched her fists tight in her lap, trying to channel all her nervous energy out by turning her knuckles white.

"Come on, Father!"

A quick glance at Phillip showed the young boy practically hanging off his seat with excitement, waving at his father and Gwen had to smile. The boy was only five after all, he didn't understand that he was meant to remain quiet. She watched Arthur raise a hand in acknowledgement of the boy and something burned warm inside her, watching this easy display of affection. Suddenly all was silent, the flag of Camelot held up in the air, both Arthur and William poised on the horses, lances aloft. Gwen held her breath, not daring to make a sound nor slight movement incase it put Arthur off. Next to her, Bella was doing exactly the same, fingers held up to her mouth in a very unqueenly manner.

For the remaining years of her life, Gwen would only ever remember the events of that match in slow motion. How the flag slowly fell, the spray of sand as both horses kicked off, the rapidly increasing thud of the horses as they ran, almost in tune with Gwen's own heart. The clang of wood against metal as Arthur's lance rammed itself into Sir William's side and the repeat as Sir William's pummeled straight into Arthur's middle. The slow almost majestic way that Arthur fell, gliding through the air, how his foot caught on the stirrup. And, finally, the sickening thud as Arthur connected with the ground and was immediately crushed by his own horse.

* * *

Everything was in chaos. Someone was screaming, although Gwen wasn't sure if it was her or Bella. The horse had scrambled to its feet and was running wild around the arena. Various knights had abandoned their horses and rushed to the king's side. Bella had thrown herself over the edge of the royal box and was running towards Arthur, tears already making their way down her face. Phillip was being carried away sharpish by his governess although Gwen could still see the look of horror on his face. Picking up her skirts, Gwen hurried down onto the sand and fell to her knees next to the queen. Glancing up, she saw Merlin kneeling by Arthur's head, about to remove Arthur's helmet, until a shout from Gaius stopped him.

Other women were screaming, those still stood in the stands, and there was a heated discussion going on between the knights as to where they should take Arthur - and how. She watched Bella clasp Arthur's hand tight between her own, tears streaming down her face, as Arthur lay unresponsive. Suddenly she was being pulled back and she swung around to find Merlin, dragging her away from Arthur. Bella was receiving similar treatment although was not giving in as easily. With her arms held back by Merlin, Gwen watched as the knights hoisted Arthur onto their shoulders and carried him - as they would a coffin - towards the castle. As they moved him away, something small and thin fluttered to the ground and landed inches away from Bella. Eyes fixed on Arthur, Gwen didn't notice as Bella picked up the piece of cloth and examined it. As she was finally released by Merlin, Gwen fell to her knees, hands clasped, and began to silently pray as she watched Arthur disappear. It wasn't until Bella stood and slowly turned towards her, eyes cold and staring, that Gwen realised something was wrong. In her hand Bella held the little piece of cloth, the same colour as Gwen's dress, between her finger and thumb. Looking up, an unspoken message flew between the women, and then Gwen's cloth was falling to the ground in front of her and the queen was gone with just a flick of her dress.

* * *

The hours dragged by. Hour after hour after hour. King Stefan - not one for dealing with shocking turnouts - had departed back for Messaline and in normal circumstances, Bella would have been furious. The people of Camelot stood in the castle courtyard, candles raised, reminding Merlin of the last time Arthur had been close to death. The knights - and Merlin, of course - had been gathered round Arthur's bedside for the entire duration, waiting for any sign of life. Bella had spent a quick ten minutes reassuring Phillip that all was well before rushing to the castle chapel and falling to her knees - she was still there now. Gwen, released from her duties temporarily, was spent her time rushing between Arthur's presence chamber - to nag Merlin for information - and the royal nursery. Bella, clearly, had completely forgotten about her youngest child during these sudden events and Gwen didn't feel it was right that this small child have neither mother nor father with her. Sure, she was too young to be aware, but Gwen wasn't. So when she wasn't harrassing Merlin for a minute by minute recollection of Arthur's health, she was alone in the nursery, cradling this small part of Arthur.

Out of both of Arthur's children, Aurora was the one most like him. With her blonde hair and blue eyes, Gwen had a feeling she'd be the one to grow up as the spitting image of Arthur. Granted, all babies had blue eyes at this age but Gwen was getting the impression that Aurora would maintain this eye colour, just as Edward had.

Night came, but Gwen found herself far too wound up to sleep. Bella still hadn't returned from the chapel so, leaving the baby princess to sleep, Gwen made her way back down to Arthur's presence chamber. It was eerily more quiet than it had been earlier and - peeping inside - Gwen noticed only Merlin remained by the bed. Merlin, who looked completely knackered.

"Gwen!" He said, standing up and knocking over an empty bottle, left by Gaius. After the bottle hit the floor, they both glanced at Arthur - who made no inclination that he'd heard at all.

"How is he...?" She asked, staring down at the unconscious figure on the bed. Merlin gave a sad shrug.

"Same as earlier...still alive, but...I don't know, Gwen, it's looking doubtful..."

"What...What do you mean?"

"The horse landed pretty heavy on him. Nothing's broken - a miracle, says Gaius - but he's been out like this for...well, since." Merlin cast his gaze back to the king, still with sand in his hair and dried blood on his forehead. Looking at him, lying there so helpless, Gwen felt something give in her chest. She swallowed back tears as Merlin's meaning finally hit her.

"Where...where are the knights?" She finally choked out, looking up at Merlin. His face crumpled and she felt a stab of worry hit her.

"They've...Oh, gee, Gwen...They've gone to sort out the paperwork. In the event of Arthur's death..." He glanced back at the king. "They're making arrangements for Phillip to be crowned and Bella made Regent...". A choked sound escaped from Gwen and she clapped her hand to her mouth to contain any more emotion from spilling out. She turned away from Merlin, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, ignoring the tears that had already escaped. Sensing she needed a moment alone, Merlin slowly backed out of the room and pulled the door to. Once outside, he sighed heavily. If only Arthur had _listened_. But then...when did Arthur ever listen?

"Arthur...?" Gwen approached the bed and sank into the chair Merlin had been occupying. She looked at the hair, stuck to his forehead with blood and sweat, the graze on his cheek from where he'd skidded in the sand. Gaius had removed his breastplace and, carefully pulling back the blankets, Gwen spotted an enormous mottled purple bruise - so painful it almost made her hurt to look at it. Cuts and scraps were scattered about on his chest and shoulders and Gwen couldn't help but think that he'd literally been in the wars. She took a shaky breath and reached for his cold hand, clasping it between her own warm one, hoping some form of physical contact would bring him round. No such luck.

For a while she sat there, his hand slowly warming up via the heat from her own, her eyes watching every shallow breath he took. She was so absorbed in willing him into consciousness that she didn't hear the door swing open. It was only when she was getting the feeling that there was someone else in the room, that she turned around. And there was Bella, the flickering candles casting shadows across her figure, a stony expression on her face and her eyes fixed on their clasped hands.


	11. Caught

**Author's Note: **Thank you once more for all the responses I've received so far and to all those who've kept up with this =]

Warning: I time-skip here - deepest apologies, I'm beginning to think I can't help it o.o

Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC. This plot and my characters belong to me.

It was a wonder she hadn't been murdered on the spot. Well and truly caught, Gwen had gabbled her way out of the situation, weaving a story about how the knights had left and she didn't feel Arthur should be alone, so she'd sat with him and she was sorry, very sorry, to have left her post, excuse me madam, she'd go back now, very sorry. Gwen couldn't say, 100%, whether Bella had fell for it or not. It was, after all, partially true. She just hadn't added that she wanted to be there as much as she felt she should.

She was beginning to get the impression Bella didn't entirely trust her. And Gwen couldn't blame her. There was nothing about her that Bella _should_ trust. After all, she was in love with her husband. She had his son. If Gwen had been Bella, she'd have had her secretly exiled a long time ago. But each woman to her own.

It was morning now. A grey contrast to the beautiful day it had been yesterday. It just proved, in Gwen's opinion, how deceiving winter could be. It could send a day as fine as summer one minute then throw a cloudy overcast which lasted for weeks another minute. It was as if even the weather was miserable. She sighed, running over her eyes in a bid to stay awake. She hadn't slept at all - even when she'd tried, she'd shut her eyes and watch Arthur fall over again. In the end, she'd gone back to the nursery - much to the disapproval of the Princess Aurora's new governess, who felt Gwen spent far too much time in there anyway. She was just debating whether or not to pay Gaius a visit when Merlin burst in, scarf schwiff, and out of breath. Just the look in his eyes and the nod of his head told Gwen what she needed to know and a moment later, she was running after Merlin back towards Arthur's chambers.

A quick gesture from Merlin told her it was safe to go in - that Bella and her other ladies were there and it wouldn't seem too suspicious if she joined them. She quietly crept into the darkened room, where Bella was knelt next to the bed with her ladies surrounding her.

"Sire...My lady..." Gwen murmured, sinking into a curtsey. She looked up to see Arthur's face break into a smile. Bella's didn't.

"Guinevere." Bella said, her tone becoming colder with each word she spoke. "I'd thought you'd gone home."

"No, m'lady..." Gwen answered, still positioned in a curtsey. Bella shrugged, turned her attention back to Arthur, not bothering to tell Gwen to get up. Gwen turned her gaze to Arthur, who motioned with his eyes for her to get up, and slowly rose. "It is good to see you well again, Sire." She said, trying to keep her expression as neutral as possible. "You had us all quite worried."

"As Bella is telling me!" Arthur said, grinning at the idea of having everyone in a panic. He looked back down at his wife, her face pale and strained. "Relax, wife, the danger is over."

"I thought...I...really, I..." Bella gave up, bowing her head and shaking it. "I'm just so glad you are awake, I really thought..."

"Hush..." Arthur said gently and laid a hand on her head. Gwen felt her own hand twitch at her side. "All is well now. And thank you for staying with me whilst I was out." He smiled at Bella's bewildered expression and stroked her hair. "Yes I felt you holding my hand. Thank you." Bella cast a glance towards Gwen, both women well aware that it hadn't been the queen holding Arthur's hand during his dark hours.

"It was my pleasure, Arthur..." She answered, smiling, and Gwen felt her entire body stiffen with anger.

* * *

The years rolled by, going faster than Arthur cared to think about. Miraculously, he had received no long-term injuries from his fall four years back. Gaius had said - at the time - that he should consider himself lucky and be more wary of his mortality now that he had responsibilites. To this day, Arthur was unsure whether Gaius had meant the kingdom or his children. And he couldn't even ask him now. Gaius had passed away not long after the accident. Merlin had been so distraught, he was good for nothing, so Arthur had given him a couple of months leave to grieve in peace. He had to admit, he himself had felt upset at the death of the man who'd cared for him for all of his life. Now he had a new court physician - a younger man who seemed to bask in sunlight, he was so happy all of the time. Arthur had smirked when he first watched this man bounce around the castle, radiating joy wherever he went. A few months in Camelot and he'd soon become as miserable as everyone else.

In the months that passed after the accident - months where Arthur found his legs too bruised to do much activity and so spent his time in the castle - Arthur looked back over his life and had a good rethink. Looking back, Merlin and Bella had been right. He shouldn't really have participated in the joust, not at the risk of leaving the kingdom with a boy for a king. Phillip hadn't been old enough - still wasn't - and it was his responsiblity not to put himself into such obvious danger. He now did what his father had always done - sat back and praised the young knights, instead of being the first to ride.

On the other hand, Phillip's respect for him had gone up several notches. He'd already been high on the boy's 'idol list' but now he was positively at the top. The worrying thing was that Phillip kept asking how long it would be until he was allowed to joust. Something that Arthur kept ignoring in the hope he'd forget. As of yet, he hadn't.

During those months where all he could do was sign paperwork and annoy various people, he'd taken to spending an extortionate amount of time with the royal children. Far more, in fact, then what was expected of him as king. But as he couldn't ride out or do any physical training, Arthur decided he might as well spend his time with the kids he'd one day be leaving in charge. He'd spend many afternoons in the summer that followed, bouncing Aurora on his knee while telling Phillip stories of all the things he'd done as a younger man. "Putting ideas into his head" as the governess put it - Arthur had ignored her. But that was what he wanted for Phillip. He wanted him to have stars in his eyes. He wanted him to believe he could be the greatest king Camelot had ever seen. But Arthur also want a Gwen for Phillip. A Gwen to keep him grounded, just like Gwen had done for him.

He'd well and truly managed to make Aurora into a daddy's girl. After spending the first four years of her life with him, Aurora now toddled after Arthur whenever she saw him - much to the annoyance of Bella, who felt Aurora should be learning how to be a little lady, rather than following her father and brother around. Phillip, at the grand age of ten, felt himself to be very grown up indeed and kept begging Arthur for an upgrade to a proper sword. To which Bella kept saying no before Arthur could get a word in.

Maybe this was what Gaius had meant? A responsibility to his children, to be there as they grew up and help them develop their own unique, beautiful personalities. Already Arthur could tell that Aurora wasn't going to be the perfect princess Bella had visualised. She showed more Morgana traits the older she got.

It was summer now, with Phillip at ten and Aurora at four and Arthur...well, Arthur tried not to think about it. The years just went faster now, much to his own concern, yet they didn't seem to touch Gwen. Everytime he saw her - which was becoming increasingly rare, something he blamed Bella for - she seemed just as radiant as she had thirteen years ago, when he'd first _really_ taken notice of her. He'd lost track how old her boy must be now - eleven, maybe? He wasn't that much older than Phillip. Arthur had in fact suggested to Bella that they ask Gwen if she wanted to bring Edward to the castle, introduce him as a friend to Phillip. But Bella had quickly stamped this idea out and ended the conversation sharpish - as she did everytime Arthur brought up reference to Gwen.

Over the past four years, Arthur had only had proper contact with Gwen on a number of times. Sometimes the desire to just grab her and hug her tightly overwhelmed him and he'd find himself riding out to the furthest corner of Camelot, where he could take his feelings out in private - usually by slamming his sword into an unfortunate tree. He felt that everytime he came close to Gwen, Bella was watching. Not just quick glances, but scrutinizing him intently. Watching his every expression, ears pricked back for every word spoken. Almost as if she didn't trust him.

Not that he was going to let that bother him. The sun was pouring through the stained glass window of the nursery, sending an array of different colours over the baby's face. Only last week, Bella had given birth to their third child - another girl. A girl who was, as of yet, unnamed. Arthur had a name in mind - it was just getting Bella to agree to it. Bella was hoping to name her after her mother, Marianna. Arthur did like the name, it was very pretty. He just had a better one in mind.

"Don't you think Marianna suits her?" Bella asked, her head resting against his shoulder as they stood and looked down at their youngest daughter. Arthur smiled - with the child's dark hair, he was beginning to feel that this one would copy Phillip and have eyes as dark as their mother's. Dark hair, dark eyes. He only had one name for this princess.

"I sort of like Genevieve..." He said, smiling down at the little girl.

"...Genevieve?" Bella said, her smile faltering. He could almost hear her mind hearing 'Genevieve' and immediately thinking 'Guinevere'. It wouldn't surprise him - after all, that was why he'd picked the name. It was similar enough without being too similiar. But clearly Bella had picked up on it. "Why Genevieve?"

"My..." He quickly searched through his brain, trying to find some reference to a Genevieve that was nothing to do with Gwen. "...Great-grandmother was a Genevieve."

"Was she?"

"...Yes." He answered quickly, looking back at the baby, before lifting her up and kissing the soft skin of her temple.

"But I really like Marianna, Arthur..." Bella started, leaning over and stroking the baby's cheek.

"Could always have it as a middle name?" Arthur said, turning to look at his wife. She gazed back, noticing in his stare that the battle was lost. She sighed.

"Alright...Genevieve, it is. I'm just going to get her thinner blanket, that one of Phillip's looks too thick. Come" She gestured to her ladies and before Arthur knew it, they were all pouring out of the nursery, leaving him alone with the princess. He grinned down at the tiny baby, feeling that rush of protection that he'd felt with all of his children. Now that he'd watched the older two grew into such wonderful little people, he felt a sense of excitement towards what Genevieve would become. It didn't matter that she was a girl. Aurora was a girl and she was the delight of his life. Just watching her toddle over, calling his name, made Arthur's day.

"Genevieve..." He murmured down at the baby. "Princess Genevieve...". He looked back up to glance out the stained glass window when he caught a glimpse of someone standing by the door. Turning, his grip instinctively tightening on the baby, he stopped when he noticed it was Gwen. He relaxed, smiling a little, releasing she'd come back instead of going with Bella.

"Genevieve..." She said as she slowly walked towards him. "That's different..."

"I was inspired." He grinned, looking down to the baby princess than up to the woman who she was partially named after her.

"Inspired..." Gwen said, coming to stand opposite him. She looked down at the baby, fists clenched, mouth open in a yawn. "Arthur, she's beautiful...

"Yeah..." He agreed, looking down at her too. He watched Gwen smile at the baby and caught an air of sadness about it. He bit his lip, wondering if it still hurt Gwen to be around his children. He was, after all, fairly confident that if she had any more, it would hurt him. "Gwen, I..."

"Congratulations..." She cut in, looking up and piercing his eyes with her own dark gaze. Arthur found himself entranced, unable to tear his gaze away. How he'd missed looking into her dark eyes and getting the feeling that she had the ability to read his very mind. How he'd missed _her_ full stop. And before he knew what he was doing, his lips had pressed themselves against hers. Gwen moved closer, returning the kiss and entwining her arms around his neck, and he moved his arm to stop them from squashing the baby between them. A baby that, Gwen couldn't help but think, should be their's. It seemed to last forever, as if time didn't apply to them, while they shared this one moment that they'd both been craving for years. A sudden gasp, however, brought them both crashing back into reality.

Bella stood in the doorway, the blanket that had been in her arms now draped over her feet, a look of horror mingled with shock across her features. Behind her, her ladies gathered in a gaggle, whispering and gasping at the sight of the king in a passionate clinch with one of their own. Gwen sprung away from Arthur, her cheeks flaming, trying to hide her obvious embarrassment and horror at being caught. Arthur himself stepped back, jogging the baby and causing a high pitched scream to fill the empty silence of the room. Bella stood, frozen to the spot, glaring at her maid. Gwen shifted from one foot to the other, unable to decide what course of action would be best to take. Bella made her mind up for her.

"Get. _Out!_" She said tightly, bringing extra empathsis on the last word. Gwen hurriedly scurried past her and disappeared out the door as fast as she could. Bella signalled to one of the ladies to take Genevieve from Arthur and as they all vanished, whispered amongst themselves, out of the door, leaving him and Bella alone, he had a very good idea of what was coming next.

* * *

Nothing could quite have prepared her for the storm that was Queen Bella when she swept into the room with a face like thunder.

"How _could_ you? How COULD you?!" Bella yelled, sweeping into the room in a fury. Gwen shrank back against the wall, slightly intimidated by this new, angry Bella. "My own HUSBAND! I've suspected you for months! Heck, years! And it seems I was right! You've had a thing for him all along!"

"It wasn't like that..." Gwen protested quietly, almost afraid to answer. "We..."

"Don't make this into a 'we'!" There is no 'we' for you! Taking advantage of him like that! How DARE you. I welcome you into my household, I let you near my _children_ and you repay me by trying to seduce my husband! Unbelievable!"

"Your Highness, please, I..."

"Do NOT speak to me! Get out of my _sight_, I do not want to see you anymore! You are dismissed! I don't want you near me or my family again!" Bella shrieked and Gwen hurried out, pulling the door to behind her as Bella broke down in tears and fell to her knees in despair.


	12. Meeting

**Author's Note: **Thank you, thank you, thank you again to those who've kept up with his story and who review it each week to tell me what they think. I apologise that I take a while (a week give or take) - I'll try and get my act together xD

Disclaimer: Merlin is the property of the BBC. This story and its characters are mine.

It was a very simple errand. Go, deliver the blankets and sheets to Mrs. Morgan, collect water, come home. It would take him, oooh, about twenty minutes. Perhaps twenty five if it was busy in the upper town. So therefore, logically, there was no reason for Gwen to be worrying. But, oh, she was worrying. She paced the wooden floor of their kitchen, trying to find something to occupy herself with while she waited. She tried to convince herself that he'd be fine - she herself used to run errands when she was eight, let alone eleven like Edward, and had come to no harm. But this was the first she'd let him _out_ out without her and so she could not remain calm until he was back.

How long had he been gone again? With a sigh, Gwen looked for something to do. Since her dismissal two months ago, she'd found that her days were now significantly more empty. She'd also found that her desire for Arthur had grown a worrying amount. She'd managed to spend years in the same castle with him without feeling the need to jump on him, but now that she couldn't see him at all...well, it was getting to her. Especially since the last time she'd been with him, she'd been kissing him. And how she missed that. How she missed that a _lot_.

Blinking, she found herself at the window once more, scanning the surrounding area for any sign of Edward. Of which, of course, there was none. He'd only been gone five minutes.

* * *

Now _this_ was Edward's idea of fun. He'd hadn't been up this end of Camelot since...well, he just hadn't. He'd spent his entire childhood on the outskirts of the city, spending many days looking out from his garden towards the castle and wondering just how big it was closer up.

Damn, it was huge. The pure white walls sparkled in the autumn sunlight, so bright Edward felt inclined to cover his eyes just to see. It seemed to go on forever, almost touching the sky, and Edward wondered just how important you had to be to live in a place like that. He'd only seen the king a handful of times in his life but had heard great things about him. He'd heard people say how beautiful the queen was, but his mother changed the topic everytime he brought it in up in conversation. Edward was most interested, however, in the prince. The prince who, he heard, was the same age as him. The idea of this boy was fascinating to Edward - how a boy the same age as him could live such a different life.

The upper town was so busy! Down where he lived, it was quiet. He only saw a small number of people and those were generally the ones who were leaving town. But here, everyone was on the move. There were carts everywhere, horses being ridden both in and out of the courtyard, people hurrying around with buckets and books and parcels. This was brilliant! So much activity, so much going on...why hadn't he been let out into this before?

With an excited gleam in his eye, he knocked on Mrs Morgan's door. He'd been given strict orders; Deliver the sheets, collect some water, come home. And he intended to do just that. But his mother hadn't specified any time to be back, so Edward fully intended to make the most of his trip out - and walk home as slowly as possible so he could observe everything. With a big grin, he handed over the sheets to Mrs Morgan as he opened the door and endured a moment of 'Awwww, you've grown a lot, sonny, look just like your mother!" along with some hair ruffling before escaping. As the door shut behind him, Edward looked up in wonder at the beauty of Camelot. Detouring a little - only a little, mind you - he found himself in the courtyard.

"Take that, you northern warrior, and that!" Spinning round, Edward searched in the direction of the voice, only to find himself watching another boy, waving a sword around. Prince Phillip, along with a gang of other rich-looking boys, stood in the middle of the courtyard, poking his sword at another kid - one who looked more like Edward than Phillip. For a moment, Edward just stared. The clothes this boy was dressed in were the finest Edward had ever seen. He was fairly confident that if he owned such new clothes, his mother wouldn't let him play in them. But Phillip was charging about and dashing all over the place in these beautiful clothes. And his sword...how Edward envied his sword. It wasn't a real one, but it had been shaped and crafted just like a real one. A perfect wooden replica.

"P-Please! Just stop!" The other boy - the boy who looked like himself, Edward noted - cried out, ducking as Phillip aimed another swing at his head. Phillip and his friends laughed, nudging each other and harrassing the boy some more. Edward frowned, noting the boy's appearance. He was dressed in clothes much like Edward himself and was carrying a stack of papers and books - as if he too were on an errand.

"Whhhhy?" Came the whine of Prince Phillip, jabbing his sword at the stack of books in the boy's arms. "I'm having fun pretending you're the enemy!"

"I'm - I'm going drop these books! Please!"

"Well you'll have to pick them up again. Take that!" Phillip swung at the boy again, laughing as he dodged and stumbled. Edward frowned - prince or no prince, it gave him no right to pick on this kid just because.

"Hey." He said, bucket swinging from his elbow, blue eyes glaring. "Leave him be, yeah?"

"Oho oh! And who exactly are you?" Phillip said, turning and jabbing his sword in Edward's direction. Edward didn't even flinch, staring the other boy out. "Well? Can you talk?"

"Go." Edward said, nodding his head at the other boy. The boy pulled his books closer to his chest and scrambled off. Phillip rolled his eyes.

"I was just playing with him!"

"Didn't seem that way to me."

"Oh yeah? And who are you?"

"Doesn't matter who I am." Edward said, not willing to give his name to this boy who would no doubt ridicule him. Phillip frowned and put his hands on his hips.

"Do you know who I am?"

"A bully?" Edward answered, his face expressionless. Phillip, on the other hand, positively glared at him.

"I'm going to be king one day!" He cried out, moving so he was right in front of Edward.

"...yeah?" Edward said with a shrug, glancing up into Phillip's eyes and away again.

"You should show me some respect!" Phillip said before placing his hands square on Edward's shoulders and shoving him backwards. Edward stumbled and fell hard onto the cobbled ground, bucket rolling away from him. Phillip threw back his head and laughed, his friends joining in. Eyes narrowed, Edward clambered to his feet and pushed Phillip hard back before the other boy had even noticed him.

"HEY!" Phillip yelled, trying to keep his footing before lunging at Edward. And before he knew it, Edward had managed to get himself into a fight with the Prince of Camelot.

* * *

He probably wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been walking out of the castle at the exact moment it was happening. Talking to Merlin, Arthur had been en route to the stables, to check out a new horse Merlin had "found" (this statement worried Arthur), when he saw the scramble in the middle of the courtyard. Running over, Arthur realised it was his own son, pinning another boy to the floor.

"Phillip!" He yelled, pulling the boy back and holding him under his arms. He held Phillip tight as he squirmed, trying to hit the other boy again. Merlin grabbed the boy Phillip had been pummelling and pulled him away. "Phillip, stop it!" Shaking his son a little, Arthur looked up at the boy Merlin was restrained and took a double take. He looked remarkably like Gwen's boy.

"Let me go!" Edward cried, struggling against Merlin's hold. His raven hair fell into his eyes and he knocked it back with a shake of his head. Arthur watched him, intrigued and curious, at this creation of Gwen's whilst holding his own tightly.

"Boys, boys..." He finally said, glancing from Phillip to Edward. "What is all this?!"

"He started it..." Phillip muttered, pulling again at Arthur's grasp. Arthur just held on tighter.

"I did not!" Edward objected. "You were picking on that kid!"

"I was picking on no kid!" Phillip yelled, face flaming at the idea of his father finding out. Arthur frowned.

"You were what?" He shook his head and sighed. "D'ya know what, we'll talk later. Get inside and do something productive." He let go of Phillip and pushed him in the direction of the castle. Phillip pulled an angry face at Edward and Arthur watched as Edward mirrored it, nearly exactly.

"Edward, what are you doing up here?" He said, turning his attention to the dark-haired boy. Edward looked up, blue eyes wide and confused. _Blue eyes_.

"How do you know who I am?"

"I...am an old friend of your mother, when she worked for the queen." Arthur said, scratching he back of his head awkwardly. Edward raised an eyebrow. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Errand..." Edward muttered, bowing his head and wiping at a cut on his cheek.

"Hey, are you bleeding?" Arthur said, kneeling down and lifting the boy's head. Eyes instantly distracted from the cut, he was almost bowled over by the blue of his eyes. _Blue eyes_. He remembered that bugging him all those years ago and not figuring out why. Edward frowned a little, tilting his head to the side.

"I...better go. Mother will be worrying." He hastily said, before picking up his bucket and legging it.

"Well." Merlin laughed, watching the boy run. "You sure scared him away with your "inside knowledge" as to who he is."

"Yeah..." Arthur blinked, standing up and dusting himself down. "Strange that it was _him_ Phillip decided to get into a scrap with..." He looked up at Merlin and was instantly met with bright blue eyes.

_Blue eyes._

* * *

"It's duck again, I'm afraid." Merlin said, backing into Arthur's chamber with a plate in one hand and a goblet in the other.

"_Again_?" Arthur said, raising an eyebrow. Merlin nodded, almost in a solemn manner, and put the plate and goblet down in front of him.

"Mhmm. The chicken got away."

"It got _away_? And you didn't _catch_ it?"

"Uhm...no, no Sire, no." Merlin said, biting his lip as he remembered his episode with the chicken. To add to his long list of jobs that he already add, Arthur had kindly introduced a new job - to catch whatever was going to be used for dinner that night. Now Merlin _had_ been on a mission to catch a chicken. It was just that the damned thing would not allow itself to be caught. So Merlin had tried to help it along - you know, knock it out, trip it up, that sort of thing - and had ended up blowing it up instead. So the duck had had to do. "It was a very fast chicken."

"A very fast...gee, Merlin, outrun by a chicken..." Arthur rolled his eyes and stabbed his fork into the meat. Merlin turned his back and imitated Arthur as he picked up a cloth he'd been using to dust the table down with earlier. Resuming his previous activity, Merlin started dusting down the fireplace as Arthur ate, trying to keep a straight face as he remembered the fate of the poor chicken.

As he ate the duck - duck, unbelievable, two days straight - Arthur thought back. It was the one which had bugged him for all these years. The fact that Gwen's son had blue eyes, regardless to the fact that Gwen, and her family before her, had brown eyes, annoyed him beyond belief. He'd began to wonder about Edward's paternity when it occured to him that he hadn't seen the southerner around for a while. For years, infact. And had heard no news or gossip that he had died. Had he and Gwen parted ways? Surely if they had, he'd still come visit the boy, right? The blue eyes, damn those eyes...did the southerner have blue eyes? If Arthur recalled correctly, and it had been over eleven years, he'd been of similar colouring to Gwen. So therefore, Arthur would assume, that his eyes would have been dark too. So where did the blue come from?

"Of course, I did tell the cook that you wouldn't be impressed with more duck, but after she chased me round the kitchen with a rolling pin, I decided to just let the matter drop..." Merlin was saying as he dusted down the top of the fireplace. He turned and gave Arthur a small smile, accompanied with a shrug. Arthur looked up and found himself looking into Merlin's blue eyes again. Surely not. No. No, no way. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. The supposed kiss between Gwen and Merlin when he'd been poisoned. How they'd always stood together during important ceremonies and feasts. How Merlin had been adamant that they have Gwen released when she was accused of witchcraft. How he himself had announced to the court that Merlin was in love with Gwen. It had been Merlin comforting Gwen when she found about the bethrothal. How it had been Merlin who'd told him to go and visit Gwen...the night he found out she was pregnant. Merlin. Merlin all along.

"How could you, Merlin?" He suddenly snapped, eleven years worth of anger coming out through the bang of his fist against the table. Merlin blinked, duster aloft.

"I really didn't think you'd mind about the duck, always tomorrow..."

"Forget the flaming duck! You and Gwen! It's been so obvious and I...-!" He broke off, laughing at his own stupidity, his own blindness. Merlin peered at Arthur curiously, his eyebrows slowly narrowing.

"What?! Me? Me? And Gwen? Are you mad?! He spat out, horrified by the idea that Arthur had come up with.

"It's obvious, Merlin! You and her! Look at the boy! I saw his eyes today!"

"Edward?"

"Yes! Did you pick that name? Hmm, well, Merlin? Or was it an agreement between the two of you?"

"Arthur, this is insane, Gwen and I never..."

"I saw his eyes, Merlin, don't try and convince me otherwise." Arthur said angrily, pushing his plate with a force that sent it to the other end of the table. Merlin glared at it before turning his gaze back to Arthur.

"Me? You think I'M Edward's father? ME?!" He cried. At Arthur's nod, he threw his hands into the air and stormed across to Arthur's chest of drawers.

"What are you...?" Arthur stopped as Merlin slammed down something in front of him.

"Blue eyes? Is that your basis for the entire thing? I'm Edward's father cause of BLUE EYES?! Look in the mirror, Arthur." He shoved the mirror under Arthur's nose, gave him a disgusted look and walked out, taking care to slam the door. Arthur glared after him, all ready to shout back, until he caught a glimpse in the mirror. He picked it up and his eyes slowly widened in acknowledgement, as he finally came to realise the truth which had been staring him in the face for eleven years.

* * *

It had taken him far longer to make up with Merlin than it did to make up with Bella. Merlin took his mistake as a personal insult and would only speak to Arthur when necessary - and even then in a cold tone. And it began to dawn on Arthur how much he depended on Merlin as a friend. As well as how much he appreciated his company. All in all, it had taken Arthur about a week to work round Merlin, offering him apologies randomly as well as promising additional days off. Bella, well...it really hadn't taken long at all. She seemed convinced that it was Gwen who had jumped on him and had pretty much forgiven him before the day was out.

"Arthur, I was thinking of maybe the Prince of Argian? I know it's a bit far away, but the king there has recently had a son and he's an old friend of my family. Think of the benefits bethrothing Genevieve to his boy would have for Camelot? We'd have ties all over the place! I was also wondering, for Aurora..." Bella paced up and down Arthur's bedchamber, ticking off points on her fingers, chatting away to Arthur who was just not listening.

_Was it possible? Was it actually possible? Was there anyway to find out whether what Merlin had suggested was true? He couldn't just go right up and ask..._

"I hear he has a second son, just older than Aurora, maybe we could extend an offer to him and..."

_But then again, why not? If it was true, him and Gwen would have to talk. But what if she turned around and told him he was wrong? That there was another man involved? What if she told him it was Merlin all along?_

"As for Phillip, I think he's a bit hopeful, although many kings do have daughters they're hoping to marry off and Phillip is a good match for anyone..."

_He wouldn't be able to stand that, hearing Gwen tell him that he wasn't Edward's father. He didn't have any proof as such anyway. Just a subtle hint from Merlin. That wasn't really enough...Now if Guinevere would..._

"Arthur, are you listening to me?"

"Guinevere?" Arthur blinked and looked up at his wife, just in touch to watch her face change and realise his mistake. Oh dear.

"...what did you say, Arthur?"

"Genevieve. I said Genevieve. Thinking about what you said, with the prince an' all..." Arthur quickly tried to cover up his mistake, but Bella was having none of it.

"You said Guinevere. I thought we'd gotten over this, Arthur. After I forgave you for falling into temptation, I thought we'd moved on from this!"

"Bella, love..." Arthur started, getting up and going over to his wife. "It was never that simple..."

"No? And why the heck not?" Bella spat out, spinning round to face him, eyes angrily piercing him. Arthur looked calmly back at her. "How dare you put me through this! How dare you!"

"Bella, it was never going to be simple! Gwen and I, we...we go way back..."

"Have you been seeing her since I hired her back when Phillip was born?!"

"No, it was...no, Bella, listen to me..."

"So since when?! What was it? I sat, making cloths and blankets for your son while you had it away with my maid?!"

"Bella, please!" Arthur said, temper rising. He took a deep breath, trying to keep himself composed. "Gwen and I have been friends for years. Thirteen odd, maybe more."

"Friends? You call that FRIENDS? Do you kiss all your friends, Arthur? Does Merlin receive the same treatment?!"

"Bella, it's not like that! Gwen and I were friends, but then..."

"But then, what?!" Bella shouted, finally letting her anger rise. "She battered her eyes at you and you fell for it?!"

"I've been in love with Gwen for years!" Arthur yelled back and then stopped, stunned at himself. Bella stopped too, her face falling. Her anger seemed to melt away, her shoulders drooping, and Arthur couldn't help but get the impression that he'd just destroyed any remaining strength that she had.

"W-What...?" She finally said, leaning against the windowsill, head bowed. Arthur sighed and sat heavily on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, Bella...I'm really sorry. But Gwen and I fell in love before you and I even met and...well..."

"...all this time? All throughout our marriage, our children? You've loved her?" She took his silence as a yes. "How could you? How could you be so SELFISH?"

"Selfish?" Arthur stood up, enraged. "Selfish? I gave her up for you. I loved her to the ends of the earth and back and I gave her up for you, for us, for Camelot."

"But you didn't, did you! I caught you!"

"That was later. I didn't see Gwen for years, not til you brought her back to the castle."

"So it's MY fault?"

"No, no! I didn't say that, I just...What I'm trying to say is it was inevitable. Okay? I..." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Bella, I'm going to be honest with you. I never wanted to get married. I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't lie to you."

"You...what?" Bella's voice softened, almost to breaking point and Arthur winced, regretting it instantly.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm really sorry..."

"So...our whole marriage has been a sham? False? You didn't even want to be with me?"

"I liked you Bella, I really did. Even now I love you."

"Just not as much as you love her." Arthur had nothing to say that. He couldn't lie to her. Even though he knew it'd be easier if he did, but he couldn't. Couldn't bring himself to look Bella in the eye and lie to her. He watched Bella's eyes fill with tears before she threw herself past him and out the door, slamming it just as Arthur heard a sob escape from her.

* * *

A year or two passed. The strain on Arthur and Bella's marriage became more apparent as time went on. In public they acted well - it was only the sharpest of eyes which could spot the tension between the king and queen. But within the castle walls, well...that was a different story entirely. Rumours spread like fire, whispers between maids that the king and queen hadn't shared a bed in months and so all was dependant on Phillip taking over the crown after Arthur's death. The way the royal couple were there, it was very unlikely there'd be any more children.

During ceremonies and feasts they'd sit, side by side, but as far to the edge of their thrones as they could get, widening the distance between them. The younger children, Aurora and Genevieve, were said to be hardly affected by their parents' obvious dislike to one another. Phillip, on the other hand, who was quite a lot older, had reacted rather badly. Having just entered his teenage years, he was bound to go through some difficult times. But the intimate breakdown of his parents' marriage certainly wasn't helping matters.

Gwen was one of those who could spot the difficulties a mile off. Having inside knowledge to the royal marriage also helped. In the beginning she'd felt a tad guilty for potentially ruining another woman's marriage. But then she'd heard that Bella and Arthur had had a furious row (courtesy of one of the maids who she was still friends with) and wondered whether it truly was her fault. Although she had a pretty good idea what the row was about.

But enough about Arthur and Bella. She had another pressing matter to worry about. Edward, at the grand age of fourteen, was beginning to question who his father was. A subject which Gwen had been trying to avoid for as long as it had been since Edward realised he only had one parent. There had been several times over the years when Gwen had honestly debated coming clean to Arthur. But everytime she did, something happened. A child was born. An injury happened. An argument occured. And time and time again, she found herself putting it off, in the hope that the 'ideal' time would spring up soon.

Was there an ideal time? How would you even word something like that? Oh, by the way Arthur, that boy I've had for 14 years? Yeah, he's yours. Congratulations!

Yeah, or not. Gwen sighed. There had to be an easier way. And then it came to her. Grabbing a piece of paper and quill, she sat down to write.

**Author's Note Part II: **Sorry, had to put that little Arthur and Merlin reference in there with regards to Edward and Phillip, it just had to be done =]


	13. Apart

**Author's Note: **There is no note! Hahaha! Well, other than the usual thank you which I shall say again - thank you very much to all who've kept up with this. I do greatly appreciate it =]

Disclaimer: I own nothing except this plot and my characters. Merlin is the BBC's.

It had all started with a cold. A measly, simple, seasonal cold. One day Gwen had been feeling fine, patching up Mrs Doe's old blanket and the next, she found herself with a cough. Not that that concerned her - over her lifetime, she'd had many colds and winter illnesses. And this time of year always brought them into her end of town. It just meant that for a few days, she'd have to take it a bit more slower and try not to do anything which would aggrivate it.

She'd meant to take it back to Mrs Doe's house, but Edward had insisted she stay in bed and that he could easily run it back for her. She'd smiled as he disappeared into the cold, winter air, always eager and willing to help. At 14 and a half, he was going to have to learn to work on the fields soon. Next year she'd send him out to help. Although Edward had expressed interest in going into sword-making, just like her father, which had made her smile. If there was one thing she was positive of, it was that she didn't want him going into service. Being a maid - or a manservant as he would be - was tiring enough. But being a servant to your own half-brother would be taking the mickey, in Gwen's opinion, and so she was keeping him as far from the palace as possible. Edward had seemed perfectly happy with this. Ever since his encounter with Prince Phillip, he'd been giving upper Camelot a wide berth. She remembered him running through the door, bucket empty, his lip bleeding and clothes dust-ridden and for a horrible moment, Gwen had feared something dreadful had happened to him. She'd been even more shocked when she'd heard that it was Arthur's boy who'd jumped on him and that Arthur himself had broke it up. Now, when Gwen looked at Edward, she could see Arthur. Edward had her nose and her her hair colouring, but the chin and the eyes were all Arthur. Sometimes he'd turn and give her a grin and it would be as if Arthur himself were standing there.

She hadn't seen Prince Phillip in a while but Edward had described him as 'pointy-chinned, snob-nosed, blonde midget' although that could very well have been because he was angry. The last time Gwen had seen Phillip, he'd been 10 and still had that child look about him. Now he was 13 and growing more into his muscles, although not in height according to Edward. Not that Edward was a tall bean himself.

She coughed, a sharp vibrating cough which made her chest ache and her throat throb. Just the simple act of coughing could exhaust her now. She fell back against the pillow and took a few deep breaths, waiting for the pain in her chest to die down. This was certainly one of the more harsh colds she'd had to endure. But everything passed in its own time.

* * *

His family was falling apart, right before his very eyes. As each day passed, Arthur watched the stitches, that held the royal family together, break and fall away, pulling the two sides even further apart. Bella just didn't speak to him. At all. If she could go an entire day without talking to him, she would. Even in public she showed no signs of wanting to interact with him at all. On the rare occasion that they had to enter together, she'd put her little hand so lightly on his sleeve, Arthur often wondered what she was afraid of catching. And as for intimacy, forget it. Bella had could barely stand to look at him, let alone kiss him. As a young man, Arthur had never really visualised having a big family. Unless it was with Gwen. But it seemed three children was all he was getting now. And he loved them dearly.

And that was another point actually. Phillip. What had gotten into the boy? Arthur had given him a right flea-in-the-ear for supposedly picking on another kid, until he remembered that was how he and Merlin had met. It made him cringe to remember now, recalling what an 'arrogant prat' he'd been, as Merlin put it. So it wasn't really a big surprise that Phillip was slowly turning into the boy that Arthur himself had been. What had made him sad, however, was the fact that it was Gwen's boy who'd stopped him. Gwen had managed to raise a polite, good-hearted, hard-working boy who had respects for others. It was just the sort of boy Arthur had always visualised Phillip to be. He'd sort of hoping that, maybe, Phillip and Edward could be friends and that Edward would ground him - clearly not. Phillip had ranted for a good 20 minutes about that 'dirty, interfering common boy' which only highlighted the fact that Phillip did not think of much of the common people even more to Arthur. Which saddened him a great deal, really. He'd been similar at a young age, but then he'd met Merlin and Gwen and realised that it doesn't matter what status you have. It really wouldn't have surprised him if Bella had planted that negative image into Phillip's mind, cause it sure wasn't him. Not to mention, Phillip was taking the 'next-in-line-to-throne' role very seriously, strutting about the place and telling people to be good to him 'cause he would be king. Everytime Arthur spotted him doing it, he quickly stamped on his behaviour, told him to have more respect. Yet he still continued.

So there was Bella rebelling in one direction and Phillip in another. And there were the girls. His beautiful, wonderful princesses. Aurora who was the spitting image of him, with her long wavy blonde hair and her wide, innocent blue eyes. She'd recently turned 8 and Bella had been hoping, really really hoping, that she'd start to become 'girly' soon. She hadn't. Aurora's idea of fun was following Phillip around and learning how to swing a sword around. When Bella had caught the pair in the royal nursery, having a play combat, she'd shrieked blue murder. Arthur had come running from his chambers, thinking someone was being hurt, only to find his wife on the verge of slapping their daughter. He himself couldn't understand it. She was 8. Eventually Aurora would grow up and be put into dresses. He'd seen it with Morgana - until the age of 13, she'd run around like him, playing with the boys, until Uther had demanded she be put into dresses. And Morgana had hated it at first, running around in her silk dresses, hair falling out of its elaborate hairstyle. But eventually, she'd come round. She began to act more like a lady and appreciate her dresses. But give her a sword and that hidden side of Morgana bubbled back to the surface. And this was exactly what Arthur was expecting with Aurora - she still had years yet before she became a 'lady'. Just clearly not in Bella's eyes.

"For goodness' sake!" She'd screamed after walking in on Phillip and Aurora swinging wooden swords at one another. "You are a _princess_, Aurora, will you start acting like one?!" Arthur had walked in to see Bella raging, swinging her arms in a dramatic style, with their children both staring up at this mother they'd never seen before. "Enough of these rough games, you should take more of an interest in your sewing!"

Arthur had looked at Aurora, cowering beneath Bella's rage, wooden sword clenched tightly in her small fist, and he'd felt very angry. The child was only just 8, of course she was going to play. Arthur didn't expect her to take an avid interest in sewing for many years yet. He'd stood there, hands on his hips, glaring furiously at Bella. A quick nod at Phillip and his son was leading Aurora out, who looked on the verge of tears.

"That wasn't necessary, Bella." He'd said, voice firm and steady. "She's only just 8, she's got a good few years before she needs to be a proper lady."

"No, Arthur, she needs to learn _now_. What king will ever bethroth their son to a girl who acts like she's a boy? It's not good enough!" Bella had fumed, pacing up and down the nursery. Arthur had frowned, temporarily forgetting that Bella still planned to bethroth all their children. He actually had on intention whatsoever.

"Give her a break, Bella, she's a little girl. She'll learn in time. Morgana was exactly the same."

"Morgana, ha! Morgana, your half sister practically, who disappeared without a trace 16 odd years ago? You think I want my daughter to be like her?"

"I think you should let our daughter be who she wants to be." He had answered sternly, holding an angry gaze against a flustered Bella. Bella had thrown her hands into the air and strode out, dress billowing around her as she went, leaving Arthur alone with the distinct feeling that his family was breaking right before him.

Genevieve wasn't a problem. Even at 3 and a half, she loved being a little princess. Her lady governess had to fight to get her to take her little dresses off. As soon as Genevieve had realised that there were dresses for little girls like her, she'd demanded one. And Bella, with her growing desire for a girly girl, had ordered loads. Arthur himself hadn't really minded - if Genevieve wanted to dance around in a frock, so be it - but he'd have rather Bella hadn't ordered her fine clothes to wear. Genevieve was, after all, still a toddler really. She spilt her food down herself, she crawled around the floor when she couldn't be bothered to walk and if she found a puddle, well, she was in it. So in all fairness, Arthur had thought it might have been more thoughtful to buy her some nice cloth dresses to play in. So she could still wear what she liked, but be able to play and not potentially ruin her nice dresses. But no, Bella had bought her little silk jobs and so Genevieve easily worked her through them, tipping milk down them and covering them in dust as she dragged her small frame across the floor.

Arthur would watch her sometimes and realise just how perfectly her name suited her. Her eyes were so dark, he felt he could see right into her soul and yet so innocent, they always made him smile. And her hair, her hair was beautifully dark. He honestly had no idea where that had come from, seeing as both him and Bella were blonde, but could only assume that King Stefan was dark. Unlike Aurora, Genevieve liked to keep it loose and long with, if she could wheedle one out of her mother, a miniture tiara on top. And with her dark eyes, it looked simply magnificent.

And yet, putting all this together, this was the sight which met him when he and the knights had returned. There'd had a rumoured sighting of a dragon in the outskirts of Camelot and, after the last visit 16 odd years ago, Arthur was keen to make sure that it didn't terrorise Camelot again. Alas, they got out there and there was no dragon to be seen. So coming home, the only thing Arthur wanted was to sit down, have a nice dinner and get to bed early after a peaceful evening. Instead, he came home to find his wife shouting at their eldest daughter for pretending to joust with her brother, his son waving a long pole around as a lance and threatening to knock over an expensive vase sent by King Stefan (would the man ever die?) and his youngest daughter sweeping the floor with a beautiful silk dress on, coated in what looked like dried mushy breakfast. And it was then that Arthur knew his family was slowly breaking apart.

* * *

She was very sick indeed. Edward may only have been 14 years old, but even he could tell when someone was not very well at all. It had been 5 days now and his mother was still stricken down with sickness. Infact, she looked even worse. Her skin had paled and was clammy to the touch, her eyes looking as if she hadn't slept in days - although she was asleep for the majority of days now. Her hair hung limp and lifeless around her face and even the gleam in her eyes seemed to have dimmed. She'd promised him, she'd _sworn_, it was just a seasonal cold, one she got nearly every year. She was usually up by now, back to her usual self. Yet now...Edward sat on the stool next to his mother's bedside and pressed a cool hand to her raging forehead. She was still sweating, even though he'd opened a window and brought her several cups of water. The house was freezing now and Edward shivered, huddled into himself, but determined not to complain. It wasn't him who was unwell after all.

His mother coughed, a throaty painful cough, and he turned back to watch her seize up, shaking with the effort. It sounded as if her very lungs were cracking and he put his arm around her as she juddered and slowly sank back, exhausted with the effort.

She wasn't right. She wasn't right at all. He'd debated going out and finding someone, anyone, to help her. But who? Who would be prepared to offer her treatment without a cost? He knew they didn't have much money going spare and even if they did, well, Edward didn't know where Gwen kept it. Neighbours had told him what he'd already knew; keep her temperature level, give her lots of water. Well he'd done that and nothing much had changed. The other afternoon he'd sat by her bedside and watched as the knights rode out. As he saw the king going riding by, he'd felt a stab of anger. If his mother had been someone important, she'd have a swarm of physicians around her now, trying to help her, make her more comfortable. But because she was considered a 'nobody', nobody cared. It was this sense of injustice that got to Edward. That someone's status could have an impact on their care, on who deserved to live or die. He was fairly certain that Queen Bella wouldn't be forced to lie in conditions such as these, struggling to breathe and exhausting herself with the effort. Yet why should his mother have to? Because she wasn't Queen? Because her life wasn't important to anyone other than him?

"E-Edward..." He looked back at the bed, at his mother's frail form, and took her hot little hand into his own. "You don't have to..."

"I'm staying right here, Mother." He said determindedly. "I'm not leaving." He had an absolutely horrible feeling that if he left her, she might deteriorate and he wasn't going to take that risk. Gwen smiled weakly at him and he felt her grip tighten a little. He clasped her hand back as if that itself could keep her here.

"Edward, if I..." Gwen stopped and searched out his big blue eyes with her own. Arthur's eyes. Arthur's eyes looking down at her, worried. She couldn't bring herself to say it "If...it's in the drawer..."

"Mother, what are you talking about? And there's no 'if'. You're going to be fine. You're going to be right as rain, it's just a particularly bad cold that's all. You'll be up in no time." Edward said positively, hoping some of it would rub off on her. Gwen smiled sadly at him.

"Bottom drawer...but not. Not 'til I'm gone, y-yes?" She looked at him reassuringly, waiting for an understanding nod. Edward shook his head.

"No. No, Mother, you're not going anywhere. You're going to stay right here, with me and..."

"E-Edward...please..." He stopped and looked down at her, blue eyes involuntarily filling up with tears. He desperately blinked them away, determined to stay strong as the man of the house. "Bottom drawer...remember that." He swallowed hard and finally nodded, knowing he'd probably forget in 5 minutes. But seeing his understanding made Gwen smile and she leaned back and closed her eyes.

"M-Mother...?"

"It's alright, Edward, I'm still here."


	14. The Truth

**Author's Note: Forgive me if I stray OOC with this one. I found the note-writing the most difficult part so far so I apologise if any seems a little OOC.**

**PS: I am so going to get killed after this. Believe me, I tried to find a way round it but, unless I wanted to unravel everything I've worked for up to this point, there was none. Am v. v. sorry but necessary!**

**PSS: Sorry for delay - meant to update yesterday, time got away from me.**

**PSSS: Thank you for those who reviewed last chapter =]**

The sun was just beginning to rise. As a shard of light broke through a gap in the make-shift curtains, Edward groaned and lifted his head, pain instantly shooting through his neck. He'd managed to fall asleep leaning over his mother's bed and now he was paying for it. His shoulders began to shake as he remembered what had happened the night before. He remembered waking up to the sound of her violent coughing, the dark stain on the cloth she held to her lips, the instant sense of fear that had run through him. He wasn't a physician, but even Edward knew coughing up blood was not good. He knew her time was numbered, she knew her time was numbered - neither of them were willing to admit it to one another.

Eventually he'd got up onto the side of the bed with her, resting her head against his chest and stroking the damp hair which had stuck itself to her forehead. Everytime she coughed it vibrated through Edward - a constant warning of what was to come. These past few days he'd kept hoping and hoping but last night...last night it had become clear that Gwen didn't just have a seasonal cold. He'd held her close, pressing kisses to her hot forehead, telling her he was going to stay with her no matter what. There was no one else in the world for his mother but him - and he definitely wasn't going to leave her. He'd forced himself to stay awake, eyes pinned open in the dark, alert for any movement or sound she might make. He'd been the one to hold her when she had coughed her last, the breath draining from her as silent as the night. It had only occured to him after half an hour that his mother was gone.

He'd lain her down gently, moving off the bed and pulling the blankets back up to her shoulders. With her peaceful look, she could easily have been asleep. And with that, Edward had leant his arms on the bed and finally gave in to sleep, hoping to wake up and find it had all been a dream.

It hadn't. As Edward stood up, trying to control the convulsions which spread through him with every trapped sob, he looked down at his mother and put out a hand to touch her shoulder. In an instant, he reeled back, horrified. She was already unnaturally cold - physical proof that it was all real, he wasn't going to wake up from this. He was an orphan.

He was going to have to tell someone. Anyone. He'd seen the cows, dead in the fields after a famine one year. He didn't need telling what happened next. Nor did he want to imagine it. But for now...for now all he wanted to do was sit with his mother and pray for something better. Wiping a sweaty hand across his face, to catch the tears that he didn't admit were falling, Edward sunk to the floor and sat next to the bed. He pulled his knees up and leant his arms on them, burying his face into the comforting darkness. He was alone. Completely and utterly alone. After composing himself, Edward looked up, a sob still caught in his throat, and found himself looking at his mother's desk.

_"...it's in the drawer...bottom drawer..."_

Immediately Edward flew to his feet, blinking. Surely that wasn't his mother's voice. He swung back round to look at the bed. No, there she still lay. He felt his shoulders fall as realisation hit him once more and was all prepared to sink back to the ground until he remembered the conversation with his mother a few nights ago. Frowning slightly, he made his way over to his mother's desk and sank to his knees, pulling open the bottom drawer. There, amongst a stack of old papers and belongings of his mother's, were two letters. One labelled 'Edward' and the other for 'A'. Who on earth was 'A'? He knew no 'A's. 'A' definitely wasn't going to be getting that letter, for Edward had no idea who he or she was. He picked up the letter marked with his name and traced the swirly handwriting, imagining his mother touching this same piece of paper as he was now. Glancing back over his shoulder at her, Edward sighed and opened the letter.

_My dearest son,_

_If you have followed my wishes, I should be gone by now. If not - put this letter down at once, young man!_

_My beloved Edward...I only wish I had had the courage to tell you all this before. I was waiting for the right time, believing I'd have far longer to think of a way to tell you. I didn't realise that fate might take me from you as easily as it took my father from me. _

_Let me tell you about when I was a young woman...18 years ago, I began working for the Lady Morgana. You might have heard of her, maybe I even mentioned her from time to time - she was the late King Uther's ward. She went missing 15 years ago and hasn't been heard of since. I've always hoped that she's found a new life in a distant land. But never mind. Whilst I was working with her, I came into close contact with Prince Arthur and his manservant, Merlin. That's right, you met them that time with Prince Phillip. The two men who pulled you back who you told me about. Over time, we became very good friends. _

_15 years ago, my friendship with Prince Arthur developed into something more..._

Edward stopped and blinked as he read this. His mother...and the King?! It was all too insane. With a shake of his head, he carried on reading.

_...I loved him very deeply. You may laugh, son, but I do believe he was the one love of my life. At your age I do not expect you to understand this. I hope one day you will - I'm sure you will. But shortly after Prince Arthur and I expressed our feelings for one another, he became bethrothed to a distant princess - who is the current Queen. And I discovered I was expecting you. I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you now. You have asked me many times over the years who your father is and I have always found it difficult to answer. Believe me, child, I have never wanted to lie to you. But you cannot tell a 7 year-old boy that his father is the King. He would not understand. But I hope at 14 you can understand my reasons. _

_Although I have wanted to tell him many times, the King does not know - so please don't think he has been deliberately neglecting you. I wish, in my deepest of hearts, that I could have told you to your face but alas, time has caught up with me. I know this is probably a shock to the system, to discover the identity of your father as well as realising you have siblings. That's right, my boy. You're brothers with the boy you got into a fight with. I couldn't believe the coincidence of it myself. _

_My dearest Edward, now that you know the truth, I ask only one thing of you. With this letter, you should have found another. For 'A'. I ask you, please deliver this to the King and the King alone. I have not seen him for many years yet I couldn't go without saying goodbye._

_I want you to know that I love you very much - and I always will do. Please, son, keep yourself safe and live a full life - you never know what's going to happen round the next corner. _

_Your loving Mother._

_PS: The current Act of Succession in Camelot clearly states that the King's eldest son is to inherit the throne after his death. It does not state over the parentage of the heir, only that the king has to accept his heir as his own before they can legally inherit. I tell you this as a purely random piece of information, my son. _

His heart must have stopped. For a moment or two, Edward couldn't move. Slowly he lifted his head up, the letter balancing lightly on his fingertips. That was why she'd never given him a straight answer, that was why no 'mystery father' had ever turned up for him. His father didn't even know of his existence. No, that wasn't true. The King knew Edward existed. He just didn't know who he was. For a second in time, a flash of anger run through Edward. How dare she keep this from? How could she deny him this? But the anger immediately died away when he realised Gwen had already answered those questions. And with a sigh of defeat, he realised she was right. If he'd been told at 7 that he was the son of the King, he would have been very confused. For the King's son lived in a palace and he lived in this...this...cottage. No, his mother was right. A 7 year-old would never have understood.

But why? _Why_ didn't his mother and the King just get together? Why didn't she tell him? Scanning the letter again, Edward noticed she'd answered that too. The bethrothal. His father had been bethrothed to a princess and, being the selfless woman that she was, his mother had decided not to tell him for his own benefit. His head began to hurt as he tried to forgive out who was in the wrong here. Surely his father had a right to know? Surely HE had had a right to know? But Gwen had done it to save his father from scandal. But had that done _her_ any favours? Edward put his hands to his head, trying to contain the rapidly shifting thoughts, realising there was no one answer. Situations beyond their control had made the decisions for them. There was no right answer to this.

As he sat there, the sun pouring into the cold room and filling it with a sense of life which no longer existed there, Edward thought. What would his life had been like if his father had married his mother? Would he be Prince Edward? Would he have an array of younger siblings, blue-eyed and black-haired? Blue eyes...Shutting his eyes tightly, Edward thought back. The king did have blue eyes, didn't he? Blonde hair and blue eyes. Well. That explained the mystery behind Edward's own eyes, he thought. How many times had he sat there, as a small child, and wondered why he had blue eyes and his mother brown? Why his hair was straight and hers curly? Why his skin was a shade lighter than hers? It all came from his father. The King.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, NO. That meant that obnoxious, arrogant, royal prat was his brother. Oh noooo. Edward groaned as this realisation hit him. He'd really pulled the short straw there. Having a King for a father was one thing - having Prince Phillip for a _brother_...oh no. It just didn't get worse than that. With a sigh, Edward scanned the letter once more, the ending catching his attention. Why had his mother added the part about the Act of Succession? He didn't intend to work in the courts, he didn't need to know this.

"_It does not state over the parentage of the heir, only that the king has to accept his heir as his own before they can legally inherit"_

Why did she mean 'parentage'? You had to be the child of the royals to inherit the royal crown - that was basic common sense. And Edward wasn't. He was the son of the King and ex-lover. Not the Queen. Frowning, Edward read it again.

"_It does not state over the parentage of the heir..."_

If he was reading correctly - and he could have been wrong - but if he wasn't, was his mother saying the law didn't specify that the child had to be born of the King and Queen? Was she really saying that a bastard - and that's what he was, born out of wedlock - could inherit, as long as the king accepted him? Was she honestly suggesting that he...

...no. No, surely not. No. No, this was too much. Too much for one morning. And with that, Edward dropped the letter.

* * *

Why did he always get the donkey work? Couldn't Arthur have employed another lad to go on excursions around town? Merlin had far better things to do (shine his sword, polish his boots, change the bedsheets, air out the curtains, prepare dinner...) than go about and buy hay for the horses. Arthur was _King_, he must have somebody else to do this. Or maybe he just enjoyed watching Merlin suffer. With an extra sigh, Merlin slumped down the lower end of town, dodging out of the way of carts and horses as he headed towards his destination.

"Yes, last night, I heard. Dreadful shame, she was only young. Not that old at all." Merlin stopped in his tracks as he caught part of a conversation. Curiosity getting the better of him, he backed into the darkness of a sheltered corner and pricked his ears for the rest of the discussion.

"I always did like her, always ready to help if needed. And her poor boy, he's not that old at all. Only a bit older than the prince, I think."

"Yes, nice lad, done some errands for me when I was struck down with me leg. Can't think of his name..."

"Edmund? No, no...Edward. That's it, Edward. Yes, I did go round and try and see him, but he's barracaded himself in. Probably just needs time. I'll try again later. If he doesn't open up tonight, I'll get my Jon round there. Can't leave a boy like that alone after his mother's recent passing..." Merlin stopped dead, his breath catching in his throat. Edward? Mother? Dead? No. No, it had to be someone else. There were several boys called Edward about, any one of them could have lost their mother. Didn't necessarily mean it was Gwen...

"Excuse me..." He poked his head out and grinned as the two woman scowled at him. "Sorry, couldn't help overhearing...someone's recently died?" He said, trying to look interested without seeming tactless.

"Yes...poor Gwendyline, caught that awful disease that killed Mr Marge last year. Such a shame..." The woman said, shaking her head.

"Gwendyline?"

"No, that's not her name, is it..." The other woman said, tapping her foot with frustration as she tried to remember. Merlin felt the blood drain from his face.

"...Guinevere?" He eventually said, his voice cracked and small.

"Yes, that's it!" The other woman said, grinning as she remembered. "Dear Guinevere, that was...hey, where are you going?" But Merlin was already running far too quickly back up to the castle to hear her, hay completely forgotten.

* * *

"Alright, show me what you got." Arthur bent down, sword poised, waiting for the swing. Phillip lurched, his sword clanging noisily against Arthur's but not shifting it. "Think disarm, Phillip! You want to knock the sword out of my hands, what are you going to do?" With a growl the boy swung again - and this time completely missed.

"It's this sword! Wood doesn't work as well!" The young prince protested, scowling at his wooden replica. Arthur smirked - there was no way he was giving his teenage son a proper sword yet. Not if he wanted to keep his kneecaps. Suddenly Merlin burst in, completely out of breath, hanging off the door handle. Arthur stood up, frowning.

"Come to practice, Merlin?" He said, leaning down on the sword. Phillip, spotting his chance, swung at the sword and knocked it, causing Arthur to stumble forward. Shooting a glare at his son, Arthur turned his attention back to Merlin. "Merlin! What is it? Don't you have jobs to do?"

"Sire...I really need to speak to you..." Merlin choked out, gulping in lungfuls of air. Arthur raised his eyebrows, waiting.

"Well?"

"Perhaps...perhaps without Phillip listening..." Arthur stopped. Whatever Merlin had to say, that couldn't be said around Phillip, clearly wasn't good. Was it Bella? Had she finally screamed herself into a heart attack? Or the girls - were his girls alright? Or had King Stefan finally called it a day and died (hoorah!)? At his nod, Phillip scurried out, slamming the doors behind him, leaving Merlin and Arthur alone.

"Well, Merlin! Out with it then!" He said, sliding his sword back into his holder, swinging from his belt.

"It's Gwen..." Merlin said and with that, Arthur's world began to fall apart.

* * *

_I've never loved another._

_One day you will. One day you will be king of Camelot. And I cannot be your queen._

* * *

Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Nothing at all. There wasn't even any point of getting out of bed. Why should he? Gwen was gone. Gwen was gone and she wasn't going back. He was never going to see her again. What was the _point?_

Every day Arthur woke up, the sun forcing its way into his chambers, reminding him that another day had passed. Another day, distancing now from the last time he had seen Gwen. When was that exactly?

15 years. 15 years or so that he'd _wasted_. All those opportunities, all those times when he could have told her...when he should have told her...

"Morning Arthur!" Merlin's usual cheery voice filled the voice as he bounded in, balancing breakfast on a tray. Arthur groaned and buried his head into his pillow, not wanting to get up today. How could Merlin be so chirpy? Didn't he miss Gwen at all? He heard Merlin put the tray down before feeling weight be placed on the end of his bed. "Arthur..."

"Mmmmph." _No, Merlin_.

"Arthur...look, it's the third day running. You can't stay in bed all day, it's just not..." Merlin sighed and fingered the fine material which made up Arthur's sheets. He'd seen his master distressed before - the king's death had hit him particularly hard - just not like this. It was hard enough for him. He'd known Gwen just as long, loved her as if she were his sister, and it took great strength to come into Arthur's rooms with a cheery atmosphere everyday. Only to be knocked back time and time again by the barrier that Arthur had put up. He was still in shock himself. Gwen was no older than he was. He thought of Gaius, who'd made it to a grand age before finally succumbing to the evitable. But Gaius had always insisted that death could come for anyone at anytime. Being younger didn't save you.

Merlin looked back at the bed, the lump which was an unwilling king, and sighed. He couldn't force Arthur out of bed. But he couldn't leave him to fester away in his misery for another day. And the knights wouldn't tolerate it either. Gwen had been nothing to them, they wouldn't understand. Arthur couldn't put the court through a mourning period because - as far as they were concerned - there was no one to mourn.

"_Eat_, Arthur. Some breakfast at least. You need to eat to stay alive." He looked at the king again, still not budging, and wondered if maybe that was the problem. Maybe Arthur didn't _want_ to stay alive. Maybe losing Gwen had been the final straw. Merlin had been watching the stress on Arthur's family accumulate over the past year or so and had seen the effect it had had on Arthur. He had the look of a broken man, secure in no shape or form. He could barely summon up the enthusiasm to get the knights in training.

"Please...leave me alone, Merlin." Came a small voice from the pillow. Merlin's face fell - he did not know what to say. He'd never lost someone he'd truly loved. Heck, he'd never loved anyone as much as Arthur loved Gwen.

"I want to help, Arthur..."

"Then leave me alone..." Merlin sighed and got up, putting his hand gently on Arthur's shoulder and feeling it tremble under his touch.

"I'm coming back..." He promised and slipped out of the room.

* * *

How could the world just carry on? If his world was in pieces, why wasn't everyone else's? As Edward stood in the courtyard of the palace, his mother's letter tightly clenched in his hands, he stared in awe as everyone around him bustled about doing their normal business. No one seemed at all put out. Even the sky was cheerful, a bold blue with only a speckling clouds. Clearly it was only him who felt like the world was caving in.

He didn't know where he was going. The closer he got, the bigger the palace became. Where would he find the king - he couldn't call him Father - and would they even let him close? His mother wanted this letter to go straight into his hands...would he even see the king to put it in his hands? What if he didn't want it? What if he refused? Edward shook his head and blinked in the dazzling sunlight, stood in the middle of the courtyard, looking remarkably lost. Just as he was debating this, a man walked smack into him, sending him flying.

"Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry!" The man said, holding out his hand to help Edward up. Grabbing it, Edward pulled himself up only to come face-to-face with the man who'd been with the king all those years ago. The man who'd pulled him and Phillip apart. _Merlin, _his mother had called him. He blinked up at this Merlin and watched recognition form in the man's eyes as he looked back.

"Edward." He finally said, his expression changing entirely. Edward nodded slowly and saw a new emotion flash through the man's eyes. Pain? Hurt? Sadness?

"...Merlin." He replied, almost unsure. A sense of relief washed over him as the man nodded and he forced a smile, something he had to put effort into nowadays.

"Edward, I..." Merlin began but Edward stopped him. He couldn't hear his sympathy or condolences now. Not yet. Hearing it out loud would make it more real and Edward wasn't ready.

"I have this letter for the king." He said, holding out the slightly screwed-up paper. "Would you give it to him for me? Directly to him?" He'd meant to take it himself but had begun to wonder whether he could face looking the king in the eyes - his eyes - after the mountain of knowledge he'd received. And Merlin could be trusted, surely. His mother had trusted him.

"I'm not..." Merlin began, but Edward pushed the letter into his hands.

"It's from my mother." He said and then he was gone, rushing out of the courtyard before Merlin could spot the tears of grief making their way down Edward's face.

* * *

Pushing his way back into the darkened chambers, Merlin stared at the letter in his hands, the neatly printed A announcing its intendee, the last words Gwen would say to Arthur. Curiosity had him wanting to rip the letter open. Loyalty left it sealed.

"Arthur..."

"No, Merlin..." Arthur was still in bed, buried under the thick blankets, his voice muffled. Merlin stood a moment, debating.

"Sire, I have a letter..."

"No, Merlin, leave it to the knights..."

"It's from Gwen." Arthur sat up at once and, good grief, he looked a sight. His hair was stuck up on end, his eyes small and red, with dark circles under them, his complexion pale and pasty. He did not look like the regal king he'd been last week. He stuck out his hand expectantly and Merlin put the letter into it, wishing to know what it said but also wanting to respect Arthur's privacy. With a small nod, he bowed out of the room and closed the double doors.

With slightly shaking hands, Arthur opened the letter and began to read.

_My dearest King,_

_If my son has done what I asked him to, I'll be gone by the time you read this. There's been so much I've wanted to say these past 15 years and no time to say it. Or maybe too much. Too many opportunities missed._

_First of all, I'd like to apologise if I was the reason behind yours and Bella's disagreement. The idea that I had wrecked another woman's marriage did leave me guilt-ridden for some months after I left the palace and I hope you, at least, will forgive me. I don't expect Bella to. May I also just tell you what beautiful children you have. I spent many lovely days in the palace around the prince and princesses and wish to tell you that you should be very proud of them. They are wonderful children._

_I'm going to be honest with you, Arthur, for I feel that it is the least I owe you, after all these years. I'm ashamed to say, I've not been honest with you regarding Edward. To this day, I have never loved another man and have only been with one man - Edward is yours, Arthur. I wish I could have told you before. I wanted to tell you 15 years ago - you remember the five minutes in the corridor before you went into the Great Hall to be bethrothed? Probably not. But that was then. That was when I was going to tell you. And every opportunity since then...It just didn't seem right. I know you're probably very angry with me and this I understand. I would be too. But, please, Arthur...how could I put that responsibility on your shoulders? How could I force you into such a decision? To choose between a serving girl and a bastard or a princess? To choose me, you'd have been disgraced and to choose Bella, you'd have to live with the knowledge that your son was being brought up elsewhere. I couldn't do that to you. Believe me when I say this - it was for your own benefit. I admit I may not have made the wisest choices in my youth. I can only hope that I am making up for them now. _

_I know this has probably been bugging you, so I'll be straight with you now. That man in my house, when you visited all those years ago? The night before your wedding? That was my cousin, Robert. I don't know what you thought he was to me, if anything, but just incase you've doubted me - he is my cousin. He has a wife and family back down south and was up for a visit when you called. Please, Arthur, don't ask me why I wasn't straight with you there and then regarding Robert. I can honestly say I wasn't thinking clearly._

_I ask only one thing for you...Please make sure that Edward gets to keep my house. He has no one else in the world and is too young to earn enough to support himself. I am not expecting you to take him on - the scandal would taint your name, this I know - but I would like to be assured that he will at least have a roof over his head. He's a smart boy, he will learn to work._

_Arthur, I want to reassure you. None of this was ever your fault. All of it...it was out of our hands, there was nothing you could have done or what I could have said to change things. For the small pockets of time we did have over these 15 years, I am immensely grateful. Just being back in the palace around you and Merlin gave me the sense of youthfulness I hadn't experienced in years. _

_Please, Arthur, do not be too sad on my behalf. You are a good king, a good father and a good man. And I'm sorry I couldn't have been an honest woman with you before, although I hope you understand my reasons. _

_I have never loved another._

_Until we meet again,_

_Guinevere._

And with the letter clenched between his hands, Gwen's last words imprinting themselves in his mind, Arthur bowed his head and began to cry.


	15. Decision

**Author's Note: **Can I just say thank you to everyone who reviewed. I was a bit nervous after killing Gwen off and, believe you me, I did try and think of a way around it. So very sorry about that!

PS: This story is labelled an Arthur/Gwen story because, for the majority of it, it's been told via Gwen and Arthur's situations. Thank you.

From where Arthur stood, he could see the daffodils just poking their heads above the frosty soil, signs of what was to come, that life was continuing. The air was clear, a slight bitter breeze to it, a reminder that winter hadn't completely left Camelot. On this side of the kingdom, it was quiet. There was not a soul around - just Arthur and the elements of nature.

Try as he might, he could still remember that awful day that he'd learnt of Gwen's passing. Whenever someone mentioned that day, in a context completely unrelated to Gwen, he'd find himself back there with a heavy feeling in his chest. He found that he could remember that day as clearly as if it were yesterday. Heck, even better than yesterday. Arthur couldn't safely say what he'd eaten for dinner two days ago, but he could tell you straight that on that day, he'd specifically yelled at Merlin to find pig for dinner - and he'd come back with duck. Again. He could remember conversations with Phillip, what dress Bella had been wearing, what breakfast Genevieve had smeared across her front. He could remember that day in intense accuracy and it was the one day that he truly wanted to forget.

Sometimes he saw her. Sometimes he'd be riding through the town on an excursion and he'd see a dark, curly-haired woman sweeping and he'd do a double take. Or he'd hear a woman laughing in the palace, only to run towards it and found Bella's ladies in giggles over something. Once he could have sworn he could smell Gwen - only to discover that Bella had put a new bunch of flowers out and that was what had reminded him of Gwen. In the first few weeks it had been crushingly disappointing. He'd kept hoping it had all been a mistake, Gwen was just poorly, she would get better. But as time went on, the fact that she was gone slowly dawned on him.

It was not as convincing as this though. There Arthur stood, just out of town, looking down onto a patch of land near the lake. There, amongst a bed of blooming daffodils, was Gwen's grave with her son crouched before it. _Their_ son. For five minutes now he'd been trying to make himself walk down there but found that he could only watch. There was something enticing about watching Edward now he saw him in a different light. Something amazing. The truth that this boy - this 14 year old boy - was in fact where all of Arthur and Gwen's love had gone. What he hadn't realised was when he'd given himself to her, 15 years ago, he'd literally done it in all senses of the word. And she'd kept him. Kept him in this perfect boy, an ongoing sign of their love for one another. Gwen might have died but she'd left Arthur this - this perfectly evened match of her and Arthur together. And that was simply beautiful.

He looked at Phillip and he saw himself. He looked at Edward and he saw Gwen. Gwen with a dash of himself. Like those eyes. He almost wished Edward had Gwen's eyes for they were what had always entranced him over the years. But then he realised that Edward having his eyes had probably been of some sort of comfort to Gwen, so of that he was glad.

He was going to have to do it. Taking a breath, he quietly made his way down the bank to where Edward was. The boy was kneeling before the grave and, judging by the shaking of his shoulders, Arthur could tell he was crying. Something inside him broke. This boy was a complete stranger to him, they'd barely exchanged two words. But he was the only other person in the world to have loved Gwen as much as he did as well as well as being all that was left of Gwen in this world. He looked at Edward in silence, the dark head bowed, the old clothes dusty and worn, and felt a sense of peace come over him. This was his son. This was his and Gwen's son. And with a strength, of which the origin was unknown, he knelt beside Edward and put his hand on his shoulder.

Instantly Edward twitched and stiffened, glancing up to see Arthur next to him. He bowed his head, not wanting the king to see him upset, but felt the continual reassurance from the hand on his shoulder.

"I know it might be hard for you to believe..." Arthur said softly, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness of the area but feeling it had to be said. "...but I loved your mother very much. I still do, in fact."

Edward turned and looked up at the man again, his blue eyes meeting their identical match from the man who'd given them to him. "I love her too..." He said, biting his lip as he felt more tears approaching.

"I know you do, son.." Arthur said without thinking, using the term as a common endearment for any boy but only realising its significance to their relationship afterwards. Edward blinked at him

"She...she told you?" He asked, swallowing hard. Arthur nodded, remembering the letter and the knockback effect it had had on him.

"In a letter..." He replied as confirmation and Edward nodded.

"That's how she told me too..." He sighed and looked back at the grave. Although he'd thought about it, he hadn't actually realised that Gwen might have told Arthur in his letter. What would this mean? He didn't honestly expect the king to accept him and include him as part of his family - 'cause he wasn't. But was that he wanted? Did Edward really want a father figure? Did he want the king as a father? He really didn't know anymore.

Arthur sighed and looked down at the boy. There was so much to say and so much of it that would never be said. So much time lost, yet still so much left to use. Would there be time to develop a relationship with this lad? Or he would go back to being the son of an ex-servant and he go back to being a king with only one son?

"I wish she'd told me earlier..." He finally said, hoping the message would go through to Edward. The boy looked up, dark waves of hair falling into his blue eyes, his cheeks wet from crying which made Arthur's heart pang. He gave a small smile, the smile of a lost little boy, who spent his days sitting in front of his mother's grave.

Edward looked back at the grave, a pathetic attempt considering what his mother was. This grave was nothing, it was small and pretty much unannounced. Infact, the only signs that gave away what it was were the bunch of crocuses left by Edward, the small wooden cross at its head and the heaped mound of earth along its length. Nothing like the grand crypts where his grandfather and forefathers lay. Arthur himself had considered this. He knew that one day, he too would lay in a marble tomb, enscribed with his name and surrounded by gifts from the people. It seemed so wrong, to him, for him to have such an elaborate resting place and for Gwen to have such a dismal one. He wanted to bring a rose, a long-standing symbol of love, to place upon the grave but being the wrong season, he had had no luck. Instead he had brought himself and he hoped that somewhere, somehow, Gwen was watching.

"I miss her so much..." He heard Edward choke out, looked round to find the small frame shaking, gaspy sobs coming from the heartbroken boy and found he couldn't bear it. And so offering up a silent prayer to Gwen, thanking her for this, he put his arms around their son and held him while he cried for the mother he had lost too soon.

* * *

**Epilogue**

In the final years of Arthur's life, he divided his time between his broken royal family and the secret son he'd slowly grown closer to since Gwen's death. Not a day went past when he didn't think of her, when something didn't remind him of her. But as time passed, he found himself coming to terms with it. It would be too strong to say he ever got over it, but get through it, he did. Sometimes he'd see something, hear something or be reminded of something and he knew it was Gwen. When he was alone, he found himself holding one-sided conversations with her in the hope that she'd hear. Nothing important. Just updates on his life, stories of him and Edward. But he knew Gwen would be interested if she _was_ listening.

And that was another point. Edward. It was surprising - throughout his life, Arthur had figured that he'd learnt quite a lot about life. After all, he'd been in several battles, he'd raised three children, he'd ruled over Camelot with a steady hand and he'd been the best knight in the land for years. But the more time Arthur spent with Edward, the more he realised that it was the little things he'd missed out on. For example; he'd never fully appreciated how difficult it was to split logs. Sure, Edward made it look easy but Arthur always ended up taking a chunk off the top, leaving a lop-sided log. Or fishing. Who knew there was an art to fishing? Arthur had always assumed that was easy too. After all, he sent Merlin out in the morning and the fish appeared by dinner time. Easy.

For hours, him and Edward would sit by the lake's side, waiting and talking. One of Arthur's greatest joys in life came the moment he caught his first trout. Its' slimy, wet, green form slithered in his hands, one wide eyes staring up at him frantically. That night, in Gwen's old cottage, he ate - for the first time - something that he himself had caught.

For Arthur, it had never been overly awkward, being with Edward. He'd thought it'd have been harder, trying to develop a relationship with a boy whose 14 years of life he'd missed. But their bonding over Gwen's grave had started something remarkable. For when Arthur looked at Edward, he saw Gwen and so it was like he'd known Edward his entire life. He imagined it would be far harder for Edward, but the boy accepted Arthur as a friend. On days when Arthur wasn't riding, training or teaching his other children, he spent them with Edward. He didn't tell anyone where he was going - only Merlin - and they'd spend all day in each other's company, learning different skills from each other's different lives. Some days, Arthur would spend hours with Edward, teaching him to fight with a sword, to gallop on a horse, to flip someone over his shoulder. And then, on a different day, Edward would sit with Arthur and show him how to tell the time using the sun, how to re-shoe a horse, how to patch holes in his clothes. Everything Arthur took for granted and everything that Gwen had taught their son.

Other days, they just talked. Arthur told Edward of his life. He told him about his children, about Bella. He told them about his father and his grandfather before him. He told him about the battles he'd won and those he'd lost. And in the same way, Edward recounted his life to him. He'd tell him funny little stories of his childhood, things Gwen had told him, things he'd learnt. Eventually they became true friends to one another.

King Stefan had died only a few years after Gwen's death. Phillip now divided his time between Messaline and Camelot, as he was now officially the king. As the King's Mother, Bella left Camelot to live in her old home in Messaline. Neither Arthur or Bella were sad about this arrangement - it seemed to suit them both. Bella visited occasionally, to see her young daughters, but most times Arthur ended up accompanying them to Messaline to visit their mother.

It had been a cold, windy night. Arthur had had difficulty sleeping as of late, even though his days training or with Edward regularly left him tired. The rain battered against his windows, the wind whistling in through the cracks and creating an eery sound, filling the room. Arthur had flung himself from side to side, trying to get comfortable or - at the very least - warm. He'd piled blanket after blanket on top of him and, yet, he still shivered under them all. It wasn't that he missed another person's presence as, in all fairness, him and Bella had rarely shared a bed throughout their marriage. Sometimes he remembered the night they created Edward, both crammed into Gwen's little bed. It had been barely big enough for one person and yet...they'd both managed to squash themselves in comfortably. It had been the closest Arthur had ever slept to someone else.

He tossed the other way, away from the window, staring into the bleak darkness of his room. With eyes adjusting to the dark, he could just about make out the outline of his table, his cupboard, a chair with clothes flung over them. And then something else. Something that had never been there before. Something he thought he'd never see again. Arthur leaned up a little on his elbow and blinked, sure he was imagining things. After all, he'd only been remembering a few moments ago, his mind was quick to play tricks on him. But no, there it still was. Standing in the corner of his room, looking as beautiful as she had the first time he saw her, was Guinevere. She didn't say anything, just stood in their complete silence. It was Arthur who first spoke, a hoarse whisper that he no longer recognised as his own voice.

"...Gwen?" The figure smiled back, that genuine warm smile she'd always had for Arthur. She looked young, as young as she had when they'd first met. Pre-Edward even. She had her old dress on, the apron stained and dirtied. Her hands, clasped across her front, looked young but as rough as they'd ever been. For a moment Arthur was confused - Gwen had died years and years ago after all - and then he realised he could still see the outline of his wall lamp through her. But rather than be frightened, he felt very at peace, as if he knew everything was going to be alright. He didn't even startle when she walked towards him, staring at her transfixed, suddenly no longer feeling the cold nor the growing desire to sleep. When Gwen was stood next to his bedside, she held out her hand - her beautiful, calloused, young hand - and when Arthur reached out, he no longer saw his own hand. His hand was old, the skin having become less flexible, the veins beginning to show up on the back. Hands of an old man. The hand he was offering to Gwen was young, with tight skin and flawless. The hand he'd had when he was a young man. What was more astonishing was when he took Gwen's hand, he could actually feel her roughened skin beneath his own, feel her fingers curl around his hand, feel the pressure she made to pull him up. As he swung his legs out of bed and heaved himself up, it finally dawned on him.

Gwen hadn't come to visit. Gwen had come to take him away. He couldn't feel her because she was still alive. He could feel her because, well...he was like her now. Looking back he saw himself, silent and still, the old king resting in his bed. Reaching his other hand up into his hair and down his face, he understood. Like Gwen, he wasn't old in death. He was how he wanted to be. A young prince, in his early days with his true love. And with a wide smile, he threaded his fingers through hers and stepped forward, into whatever came next.

* * *

The news of his father's death hit Phillip by daybreak. He'd been staying in Messaline, planning up an attack on the neighbouring town, and recruiting men. All night he'd sat, with a map of his entire kingdom before him, drawing crosses to mark his men, circles where he wanted them situated, outlining the borders between his land and the next. For years, King Stefan had kept peace with the neighbouring town, even offering them the extra harvest, regardless to the fact that they were actually partially on Messalinian land. Well, Phillip was going to change that.

Him and his mother were just about to break their fast when the Camelot messenger burst in, out of breath and exhausted, smelling dreadfully of horse. His mother had immediately leant back, overcome by the smell, but Phillip was used to it. He'd spent half his life on a horse. The news the messenger gave him completely threw him, knocking him right out of his stride. The last time he'd seen his father - two weeks ago - the old man had been fit and fighting, the prime of his life...or so it had seemed. Now he was being told that his father had died in his sleep and he, Phillip Pendragon, was now the King of both Camelot and Messaline. Part of him wanted to fall to the floor and grieve for the man who'd raised him to be the king he was today. The other part of him knew he was going to have to get up and ride full-pelt to Camelot, a town which was now king-less. Not to mention both his sisters were alone now. Although Aurora was a fully-grown woman and, no doubt, fully capable of looking after herself, Genevieve was still young in Phillip's mind and needed to be watched over. Both of them did, as they no longer had their father to protect them. And so with that thought in his mind, Phillip stood up and thanked the messenger, who immediately fell to his knees and hailed him the new king. He put a heavy hand on his mother's shoulder, whose head was bowed and her shoulders shaking, before striding out of the room, en route to Camelot.

He found it a sombre place, a kingdom with a black cloud hanging over it. As he passed by, he noticed groups of people huddled together, women crying. Making his way up to the great stone castle, various people threw flowers at his horse and shouted their condolences. They had lost a king. He had lost a father. Outside the castle was a range of gifts, covered the steps like a blanket. Gifts for the late king, gifts for the recently bereaved princesses. Gifts for him.

As he made his way upstairs, he caught sight of a figure dashing past and recognised it as Merlin. Throughout his children, Merlin had been with his father like a brother. Always two feet behind his father, for many years Phillip had considered him a living shadow. He wanted to say something but wondered what he could say to this man when he himself really needed comforting words. He'd speak to Merlin later.

He'd been half tempted to go straight down to the chapel, needing to see his father for himself, but being back here, back in his childhood home...Phillip instead found himself heading up the spiral staircases, in the direction of his father's chambers. As far as he was aware, they'd been the same chambers Arthur had occupied since _he'd_ been the crown prince. When he'd been a young prince, he'd rarely been in these chambers. His time had been spent down in the nursery, although he did get moved into his own rooms once the princesses were born. He could count the number of times he'd been in Arthur's rooms on one hand.

The first thing he noticed was how cold it was in Arthur's rooms. He rubbed his hands together as he strode in, swallowing hard as he noted the crown on the table, the crown that his father had never been that particularly fond of. But his it had been, nevertheless, and seeing it without its owner made Phillip feel very empty. He quickly realised why it was so cold in here - Merlin hadn't lit the fires. And why would he? No one lived here anymore. It was as dead as its previous occupant. Before Phillip had realised it was happening, tears were making their way down his cheeks. He hadn't really taken the situation fully into account. He was still expecting to see Arthur at some point. It was only now, in this lonely, cold, empty room that he realised his father might actually be gone.

With a shuddering intake of breath, he made his way over to Arthur's desk, pulling out the stacks of papers within a drawer. As much as he wanted to fall into a dark corner and hold himself until it stopped hurting, he knew this needed to be done. After King Stefan had died, he and his mother had had to go through his belongings to find out his final requests and so, at Arthur's death, it was no different. Amongst the letters from other kings, proposals of bethrothals, notes from Bella and official documents, Phillip found some things he didn't recognise. A very old note, battered and worn, from 'G'. And then another letter, not quite as old, with his father's initial on the front although it wasn't his mother's handwriting. Pushing these aside, Phillip pulled out an official looking document, sealed with the stamp of Camelot. On the front it read; 'The Last Will and Testament of Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot'. It was addressed to nobody, although being the heir to the throne, Phillip thought it his right to know his father's final wishes and broke the seal, unfolding the thick paper. What he read horrified him to the bone.

It stated what he already knew, the declaration of Bella as his wife and him and his sisters as his children. But it also stated the heir to the throne. The heir who, by his father's wishes, was not Phillip. Some other boy, some hidden son. If this will were ever to be found, Phillip would lose his rightful place in the line of succession and have to serve _another_ man, some imitator. He'd known, ever since he was a young boy, that he was meant to be king. There was no other son. Someone must have forced his father to write it. And so in two quick strides, he'd made his way over to the empty place and struck up a fire, burying the will deep into the flames and watching as Arthur's final words burned before him. As far as he, and everyone else, was concerned, Arthur had written no will.

As he turned back, he noticed a letter on the floor, the letter with the initial that he'd discarded earlier. Seeing as his father had kept this secret from him until now, Phillip decided he had no right to any other secrets and picked up the letter. Pulling out his father's chair from the table, Phillip unfolded the letter and began to read.

* * *

He'd heard the news by accident. Edward had been heading out to the lake, early in the morning, when the commotion started. He'd seen Arthur the day before and today he was riding out to the borders or some official, royal business for which Edward cared about very little. Although, judging by the conversation he and Arthur had had the night before, he might have to start taking an interest soon. They'd had had a nice, long chat and a laugh about stories from Arthur's youth, tales of what Merlin had done and things that had had happened. And as the silence had fallen, so had the carefree atmosphere. Suddenly Arthur had wanted to talk serious. He'd wittered on about Acts and Rights and laws and, basically, everything Edward cared nothing for. As far as he was concerned, he had no place in the politics of the land. But then Arthur had mentioned heirs and he'd been sent straight back to the day Gwen had died, when he'd read her letter regarding the Act of Succession. Of course years had gone by since then, Edward had completely forgotten. But then here was Arthur, talking about that very Act in regards to him. It was almost frightening.

At first, Edward hadn't believed him. What Arthur was suggesting was too momentous, too big, too important for the likes of him. There were people who spent their entire lives training and preparing for the responsibility that Arthur was trying to hand over to Edward. People who were ready and willing to take it on. People like Phillip. People like Edward, on the other hand, were just as happy forming the lower rungs of the ladder.

Secondly, he didn't understand. He'd only known Arthur a number of years as more than just a king, so why on earth would he want to hand over everything to him? He was just a serving girl's son, he was of no importance to anyone. It wasn't like Arthur was childless. He had a fully-grown son who had accepted his future as king long ago. Phillip had lived his entire life as a royal, he'd spent half of his life watching his father and learning. Edward knew how to darn socks and fish a good trout. Not how to rule a kingdom. It was Phillip's right, Phillip's destiny to take over Camelot. It was meant to be.

He'd asked Arthur why. A very simple 'why?' and had waited five minutes, in complete silence, for Arthur to spit out his answer. In the end he'd given him a short answer and with a smile which told everything.

"Because you remind me of her." And Edward had understood. Through his and Arthur's long discussions over the years, he'd soon caught onto the idea that Arthur considered Gwen his one, true, proper love. He'd once told Edward that his greatest regret had been not holding onto Gwen when he'd had the chance. That if he'd taken her as his own, all those years ago, everything would be so different now. And Edward couldn't help but think that he was referring to the idea of him being on the throne again. Maybe that was why he wanted to hand it all over to Edward. To correct the error he had made so long ago. To finally put Gwen's son in the place he should have been, had he and Gwen married when they were young.

In the end, him and Arthur had parted ways on the decision that Edward would 'think about it' although Edward could see in Arthur's eyes what he wanted. There was no doubt that he loved Phillip. He just felt that one had more right to the throne than the other.

Anyway, the sun had been peeking over the treetops when the news had roared through the lower towns in the act of a Camelot messenger, riding full pelt out into the country. And then the gossip had started amongst the women of the town before it was officially heard. Although Edward had experienced grief before - his mother's death had knocked him clean over - nothing could have prepared for the immense feeling he felt hearing Arthur's death. For heaven's sake, he'd only spoke to him last night. Arthur had been fine!

A small mercy was that the entire town was stunned and shocked at Arthur's death, people openly crying in the streets and leaving messages up at the castle for the royal children, so no one noticed Edward running back into the house, tears threatening to make their way down his face. It had been late afternoon before he'd finally summoned enough strength to get up from the chair he'd collapsed in and start to prepare a dinner he didn't think he'd be able to eat. It was then that he heard the thunder of Phillip's horse's hooves as he flew by, accompanied by riders bearing the royal standard. He'd watched this half brother of his scatter dust throught the lower town, passing by in his rush to get to the castle, although for some reason, Edward was doubting it was to comfort his sisters. More likely to claim Arthur's crown before it got too cold.

For a long, long time he'd sat and he'd pondered. As the sun had set, threatening to disappear behind the mountains, he'd taken a trip to Gwen's grave and sat there with her, until darkness had fallen over Camelot and the only shimmer of light came from the moon's reflection in the lake. For hours he talked to her, throwing questions into the air and waiting for an answer, any answer, to come into his head. And whilst he was doing this, all the while watching darkness spread over the land like a suffocating blanket, he thought about his life. He thought about what he'd experienced so far, the things he'd been told. What he'd learnt from his mother _and_ his father. By the time the sun reappeared over the trees, awakening Edward from a confusion-induced sleep, he had made his decision.

* * *

With one of his grandfather's best-made swords hanging at his waist and his horse - a gift from Arthur - at his side, Edward stood in the entrance to the courtyard of the palace. He remembered the first time he'd been here, the first time he'd meet Phillip. His feelings for the boy hadn't changed and he remembered the resentment he'd felt as he watched the prince pick on the other boy. He wondered where that boy was now, whether Phillip's treatment of him had affected him long term. He remembered the stories Arthur had told him, the tales Gwen had sent him to sleep with. He remembered his entire life as it had been and wondered whether he was about to walk into his own execution or his destiny. And so, with Arthur's words in his head and Gwen's hopes in his heart, he stepped forward - his first step to claiming his inheritance.

**Author's Note: **Oh my goodness me, I've actually FINISHED. Well and truly finished! I meant to finish at 13, but I'm such a rambler, it kind of got extended.

Thank you very, very much to those who've kept up with this and commented. I am extremely grateful and would be very glad to hear your views regarding the ending (although they do slightly worry me, seeming as I've managed to kill both main characters, haha xD)

Forgive me if any of you feel I've rushed. I do have a tendency to ramble and I could probably be here forever, writing out this scene and that scene. But I didn't want to drag it out too much, nor let the basis for the entire plot disappear.

Anyway, thank you again and, well, cheerio =]


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